The Wombat's Lair

Here comes another one...here it comes again...

2010-03-15T20:04:00.002-04:00

Music.

It sometimes seems that a large chunk of my early education was devoted to making me hate things that should be fun. Physical Education classes in school only served to emphasise my physical ineptness, making me an easy target for ridicule and bullying. This only made me hate sports and physical activity more.
With music I received the standard public school sprinkling of rudimentary knowledge, but it was never done in a way I could really understand. The rote “4/4 time means four beats to the bar, and the quarter note gets one beat” was easy enough to memorize, but lacked real intuitive meaning. After all, what exactly is a beat? Is it every second, 2 seconds? It was never defined. Why four in a bar? Why not eight? Forty-Seven? What is the purpose of this bar thing anyway? The whole thing seemed pretty arbitrary, and still does in some ways.
My mother had been very musical, apparently, having played piano and been a music teacher or something. So I was expected to play piano as well, whether I liked it or not. My grandmother seemed to be the one pushing this, and she believed you could simply be ordered to have certain opinions and feelings. So I would like it and that was that. They sent me to a music teacher. Somehow they found the ideal example of the stereotypical piano teacher: elderly, thin, hawk faced, humourless, drab. Apparently music was a serious business and enjoyment or fun were not to be tolerated. So I again learned by rote and memorization without any real understanding. I played bland, uninteresting tunes, pressing the keys in the correct patterns to make the required noises. But it wasn’t really music; it never meant anything more than a series of notes. I never heard anything in these pieces that created any emotion or feeling (other than dread at having to plink out another one). Eventually I was able to get my Dad to allow me to quit.
And we never had much music in the house when I was growing up. Occasionally I might try playing one of my mother’s old records, but they didn’t really do much for me. Or perhaps on the odd rainy Sunday the stereo would be turned on to some inoffensive easy listening or classical station. There was never any ‘modern’ music around; certainly no rock or its various offshoots. For a while I even picked up an attitude that rock and such were garbage, but to be honest, I think this was just a defence for speaking to other kids about music that I knew nothing about.
Eventually , in the late 70’s /early 80’s I started to surreptitiously listen to more interesting stuff on the radio, like the local university station which played more alternative stuff like Depeche Mode, Talking Heads and the like. I just knew I liked it. And while my contemporaries claimed to like Kiss, I preferred Blondie (Debbie Harry was hot back then!) But I never felt that I could reveal my musical tastes at home. I always felt that I would be mocked (Grandmother), or they would be disappointed and call it garbage. So, I’d semi-secretly listen to tapes of The Police, or Dire Straits, and lots of other stuff on the radio.
After my father died and I was on my own, I started to listen to a wider variety. With the help of some musically inclined friends, I was able to explore a bit more and start a decent CD collection. I accumulated stuff from various genres including standard rock, pop, new wave, punk, industrial, surf, Madchester, Britpop, classical, prog rock, blues, jazz, techno/electronica and a few others. I hate county (99% of it, anyway), and most rap/hiphop type stuff.
Around 1989 I got the crazy idea that I’d like to play music myself. This time I would choose the instrument and I would choose the music. I would do it for my own enjoyment and because I wanted to do it. So I purchased a basic electric guitar, amp, and associated other bits, and started taking lessons. Being young and easily distracted, and in university at that time, I didn’t put in as much time and effort I perhaps I should, but I picked up a few things, and could pick out a few tunes and licks with fair proficiency. Later on I upgraded my axe to a proper noisemaker: a Fender American Standard Stratocaster, in 3 colour sunburst. I liked the feeling of just holding it.
Well, the metaphorical calendar pages fell off the wall, and around 1994 or 1995 we were very short on money. In order to pay the bills I pawned my beloved Strat. A feeling of failure sat heavy in my guts when I did that. That feeling faded over the years since, but never completely disappeared.
Here I am 15 years later and I’ve finally taken the leap back into the world of personally making music. With much less resistance than I had anticipated, the spousal unit let me purchase a new six-string electric twanger. It’s another Stratocaster, an American Special in two colour sunburst. This is a new model just starting this year. And I like it! It has an alder body with a glossy urethane coat that blends from a tan/yellow stain at the center to near-black on the edges, with the wood grain showing through the tan. It has a maple neck and fretboard, with a larger headstock than my old one. And three single coil Texas Special pickups. Again, I just like to hold the thing.
As far as my ability to play the thing, I seem to have forgotten almost everything. However, now that I’m older, I have the patience to learn it properly. I’m working on learning to read standard music notation (the little black dots), instead of the tablature I had used before. I’m currently following a course in a book/DVD-Rom package, and taking my time to make sure I really get it. Unfortunately I’m stuck on a terrible work schedule for the next 6 weeks that doesn’t give me much time to practice. But this won't last forever. A couple more months and I'll be able do dedicate more time.

Return of the Son of Blog’s Revenge: The New Beginning

2010-03-15T20:03:00.001-04:00

Ok, so I’m back after the longest dry spell yet. I can’t give a better explanation than apathy, or distraction. Often when I fire up ye olde electronical calculating engine, I’d rather play a game than engage in any serious mental activity like writing. Mercilessly crushing my artificial opponents is much more immediately satisfying. Anywho, the topic for today is…

Cars.

I’ve had a mixed relationship with the automotive world, from a consumer standpoint anyway. Unlike most sixteen year olds, I was in no hurry to get my license; indeed I was very nervous about taking control of a huge mass of metal moving at high speed. I did get my license at eighteen and took over operation of my Dad’s 1973 Olds Cutlass Supreme, known affectionately as “The Green Monster”, for its colour, size and appetite.
Shortly after that I started at the Great Institute of Higher Learning and Drinking, where, in an attempt to define myself, I started taking an interest in the more esoteric aspects of gear-headedness. I read magazines like Car & Driver, and Road & Track (Rodent Rack?), and generally turned into a bit of a wannabe racer. Well, that just didn’t work with a dreadnought like the Monster. I needed something newer and cooler, a real chick magnet.
So I traded the Green Monster for a Chevy Beretta GT.

Done laughing yet?
Yes, in hindsight I can admit that ‘twas the folly of youth that made me choose that particular vehicular conveyance. Actually, from an external styling point of view it wasn’t bad, and with metallic blue paint and reddish-orange trim it actually looked pretty good at the time. Unfortunately it turned out to be a total lemon in the longer term. Every system in that vehicle broke down at least once in the nine years I owned it. Towards the end it was referred to by some of my co-workers as “The War Car”, thanks to its various visible defects. The multiple problems with that car, as well as less than stellar treatment by the dealership eliminated any chance of purchasing another GM product.
In 1998 after yet another expensive repair, spousal unit and I decided that we had had enough. It was time to get something else. We needed something reliable, and fairly cheap. So after some hemming and/or hawing on my part, we leased a Honda Civic sedan. There’s a vehicle that positively drips excitement…(note heavy sarcasm).
At that point, I couldn’t afford an interesting or exciting vehicle, so I settled for loyal A to B transportation. I’ve been in that situation for the last eleven years.
And I’m getting damned sick of it!

Now, I’ll admit that I’ve only ever been a road-racer wannabe. Hell, I’ve never even learned to drive a manual transmission; when I was learning we only had an automatic, and Dad wouldn’t pay the extra for manual training. And I’ve never had the money, tools, or confidence to try tinkering with the Honda. But now I seem to be feeling that lust for a vehicle with some guts, something more than basic transportation, something with more ability than roads and laws are really prepared to accommodate. Sure, it’s an ego thing, I realize that. But I feel a primal urge for something that roars when I stomp it; something more than the bland little box I’ve been driving the last decade. Maybe it’s the mid-life crisis thing kicking in. I suppose it would be typical for me to choose the technical approach to dealing with desperate attempt to hold onto my youth versus some folks who go for a hot, young bimbo. Probably cheaper in the long run as well.
But the best part is that, in the next year or two, I may actually be able to afford one!

Stay tuned for the next exciting episode: What car should it be?!

Feeling blue?

2008-08-12T17:12:00.002-04:00

For the last while I've been trying out an alternative form of swearing. Rather than use the standard f-bomb for everything, "That f-ing f-er really f-ed up this time!", I'm using another equally flexible, but more socially acceptable word: "Smurf". The cartoon Smurfs used this word for everything, in the same way that some people use f&*$, but Smurf can be used for everything!
I was talking about this with B-monster this morning, and strayed into the subject of cleaned-up movie dialog. Some movies, when sanitized for TV, actually become much funnier. I'm thinking of Repo Man as a good example: "Flip you, melonfarmer!"

So how about one of my favourite movies, Aliens, done with "Smurf"?

Hudson: Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a smurf?
Vasquez: No. Have you?

Hudson: [puts his rifle against Burke's head] I say we grease this rat-smurf son-of-a-smurf right now.

Ripley: I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Hudson: Smurfin' A...

Hudson: Well that's great, that's just smurfin' great, man. Now what the smurf are we supposed to do? We're in some real pretty smurf now man...

Hudson: That's it man, game over man, game over! What the smurf are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?

Ripley: Get away from her, you *smurf!*

Vasquez: You always were a smurf, Gorman!

Perspective

2008-08-02T21:37:00.004-04:00

I just finished watching "The Shadow of the Moon", a documentary about the Apollo astronauts. Brilliant film. It got me thinking about this:

This is the famous "Pale Blue Dot" image taken by Voyager 1. The tiny dot in the center is the Earth, from 4 billion miles away.

"The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors, so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light."

-- Carl Sagan
From "Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space," Random House, 1994

So think about this the next time you're fuming about the price of gas, or the latest celebrity idiocy, or some other trivial issue. And think about how critical this little speck in the darkness is to our survival. This is all there is.

A few of my favourite things...

2008-07-29T19:53:00.003-04:00

I just found out this exists. *GRIN!!!*

I'll take the red pill...no the blue pill!!!... no red!!

2008-07-26T18:58:00.004-04:00

Ok, I know it's been a while, perhaps I'll explain that later, but for now, I'm revved up and have to rant.

Ages ago, my friend B-man lent me a book called "Manufacturing Consent" by Noam Chomsky. Now, I'm not much for heavy analysis or serious philosophical thinking at this point in my life, but today I decided to dig into it. I'm halfway through the goddamn introduction and I'm already pissed off! Many of the points were things I'd already noticed on my own, but it's something else to see your possibly paranoid musings confirmed by experts.

The gist of it is that the mass media (tv, film, books, magazines, etc) are being controlled by fewer and fewer giant corporations, and that they also have political/economic agendas. The book points out the decline of actual journalism. Remember that? When actual reporters would go and investigate something, dig up facts, confirm things? Hell, now most "news" is just dressed up press releases from governments or corporations laundered through PR bastards. These PR spin doctors massively outnumber actual journalists. Hell, these professional liars' jobs are to sell us this BS.
The most glaringly obvious for the last decade or so has been Fox News. Former Bush press secretary Scott McLellan (a.k.a. the mouth of Sauron), has come out and admitted that they basically wrote the scripts for Fox's talking heads and pundits (def. loud mouth asshole). Throw another shovel of dirt on unbiased reporting.
And don't think it's been just the latest bunch of ratfucks who have been doing this; this kind of thing goes back to at least Reagan, not further, and no, it does not skip Clinton. When Saddam Hussein was persecuting Kurds, it was called 'genocide' on occasion. When Turkey was doing it, is was reluctantly referred to as 'repression'. Same evil, but it isn't so bad when your buddy does it.
Anyhoo, back to the point. Media and reporting is being controlled by a few economically and politically powerful groups. Reporting on reality has been replaced by infotainment and drivel. Bread and Circuses, as the Romans used to say. Mushroom management: keep 'em in the dark and feed 'em bullshit. The play up the atrocities of their opponents while hiding those of their friends. And all the while they parade the newest shiny trinkets in your face to distract you more.
Don't think they're hiding stuff? The one that struck me years ago, was the 1999 WTO meeting in Seattle. I only knew this because I happened to have a friend e-mailing me from there at the time. It seems the protest got a wee bit enthusiastic, and the authorities cracked down. A major American city was essentially under martial law for several day....and there was barely a peep about it. Seems like that would be a pretty big story. Later on a few stories snuck out, strictly amateur stuff as the big names still wouldn't touch it. I guess they'd been told.
So, the goal seems to be to tell us what they need to get us to react the way they want, and so we keep buying more and more and just going along in ignorant, apethetic bliss. Your government is supporting people who are killing and torturing? No, little children, they're supporting freedom against terrorists/rebels/communists (insert label here). But never you mind, just watch another episode of Baywatch, drink another beer, and think about how you'll pay for the gas for that ten-ton battlecruiser SUV in your driveway (you know the one, you take in half a mile to the store to load up on hyper-process, artificial, food-like fodder for the grazing trough. The thing that has 4 wheel drive, satellite navigation, active suspension, seats 50 and can climb an 80 degree grade, but has never been off pavement! Remember? The thing that put you so far in debt that you're an indentured servant to some financial industry loanshark.) We'll take the screaming brats (overweight from doing nothing but play videogames, and hyper and incoherent from being stuffed with sugar-soaked garbage) to the latest 90 minute long, formula drivel from Hollywood, where they can eat more shit, play more games, and be further indoctinated into the cult of BUYBUYBUY!!!. Then we can get them all the associated merchandise (all produced by foreigners working in near slavery conditions), so they can be occupied for five minutes before we chuck the junk in the nearest landfill for future (ha!) generations to find.
But trust us. We'll do what's right. Just be good herd animals. Stand out in the field grazing and getting fat with a dull glaze in your eyes. And when one of you disappears every once in a while, don't worry, they're just being detained indefinitely, without charge, in a secret prison, in another country, where they're being taught how to swim - upside down in a chair. Or be made into hamburger, to return to the analogy.
We're living in The Matrix. We're living in an artificial fantasy, being force-fed crap 24/7 by folks who profit from us being just that way. To be honest, it can be tempting to just play dumb and go along in blissful ignorance.

Wow, that's quite a rant for half a chapter! Actually, I've had a lot of that building up for a while.
Maybe it comes from age and/or wisdom, but I've been starting to see patterns is the world that I do not like. I feel a great disturbance in the force. I've been seeing the mountains of bullshit from south of the border, and from our "leaders" (doesn't that mean 'one who leads', not 'one who does what the lobbyists want'?) here. I'm disgusted with consumer culture and the need for more and more crap. I've been as guilty as any in the past for craving junk, but I hope I'm finally growing out of it.

Ok, that's enough rambling for now. My bile has subsided. More angry outbursts to come!

But I don't have six fingers!

2008-04-21T18:26:00.001-04:00

I love this:

I'm baaacckkkk!!!!!

2008-03-25T20:45:00.002-04:00

Right. The maintenance outage I was assigned to is over, and I'm back to my regular job and schedule. After 2 months of working alternating day and night 12 hour shifts (switching every 5 or 6 days!), I'm certainly ready for a rest. Unfortunately, most of the extra money I earned doing this was sunk into that black hole called debt. Oh well.

Anyhoo....

I came across this little gem on Wil Wheaton's blog. It's a music service called Magnatune, and it claims to be not evil. They boast CD quality downloads (MP3's are NOT CD quality), no DRM "broken by design" crap, 50% of revenue to the artist (as opposed to the pittance the RIAA deigns to give them, despite all their claims otherwise), Full previews (listen to it all before you buy), and pay what you think is fair! Plus a few other things. This sounds exceedingly cool. And the music is stuff you won't get from the mainstream.

I haven't checked it out entirely yet (or purchased anything), but this is a breath of fresh air amid the vile copyright servitude coming from the major producers these days with their "Just because you paid for it, you have no rights to do anything with it, and we're installing a secret spy program on your computer to make sure you don't, btw it also wrecks your security so hackers can have their way with you, and one more thing: we now own your spleen. The surgeon will be around next Tuesday. Any attempts to bypass this security will result in our horde of lawyers sueing you and everyone you've ever met. Remember this is for the sake of the artists, whom we give one-billionth of a percent of all sales." attitude.

"...I became chronologically fucked-up"

2008-01-29T15:54:00.000-05:00

Note the title is from the Tragically Hip's "Locked in the Trunk of a Car"

In my case it refers to the effect of switching to nights (7pm-7am) for 3 days, and now trying to get back to a more civilized circadian rhythm, or whatever. I finished the run of nights this morning, came home, ate, went to bed for a few hours, got up, and have been in a mild daze since. I'd just adapted to being asleep at this time, and here I am trying to get back in sync with the rest of the world again. My sense of what time it is is totally shot. Not wrong, just gone; like it simply gave up and left. Occasionally I have to remind myself, "This is Tuesday, right?" But I have time to adjust before going back to work on Friday morning. Then four day of days, and try to switch back to nights. Repeat until collapse.

Politics over Safety (and logic).

2008-01-16T16:12:00.000-05:00

For the last couple of months there has been quite a stir in the Canadian nuclear world. The Chalk River reactor, the main source for medical isotopes, shut down for maintenance in November. The CNSC (the body responsible for overseeing nuclear safety in Canada) refused to let it start up again when it turned out that the owner (Atomic Energy of Canada Ltd) had failed to complete safety upgrades in the 50 year old reactor. The upgrades were a condition of their operating license. The CNSC's obligation was to deny permission to start up again without these upgrades. They are responsible for safety, not medical supplies. They have clear regulations regarding this. And they are meant to operate without political interference.
So when supplies of medical isotopes became short, literally decaying away, in steps our Conservative government and passes legislation to restart the reactor despite the missing upgrades. And note that the Liberals went along with this. The minister of natural resources aimed the blame directly at CNSC president Linda Keen, claiming her stubbornness put the lives of medical patients at risk, and that since she was appointed by the previous Liberal government her decision was politically motivated.
Also be aware that the two new reactors intended as replacements for this aging one are 8 years behind schedule, and may never start up! Where were the ministers (first the Liberal, and then the current one)? Why weren't they investigating this delay?
I know in my workplace two of the key values they work hard to instill in employees are conservative (not in the political sense) decision making and adherence to procedures (rules). These are critical to a culture of safety in the nuclear industry. From what I've seen, Linda Keen was working to these values. She was doing her job properly.
Who fucked up? AECL, the last two ministers of natural resources, and the prime minister who fired Ms. Keen yesterday.
There has been much talk of a nuclear "renaissance". If this is going to happen, safety is primary. For that we need a credible regulator, free to do their job properly regardless of who looks bad because of it. PM Harper destroyed that credibility last night. As my friend B said today, "Harper just shot the Canadian nuclear industry in the head."

How do you compete against these people?!

2008-01-13T18:57:00.000-05:00

Ok, it's no secret that I work in the nuclear power industry, and so I could be accused of some pro-nuke bias, but I saw this newspaper article that just amazed me with it's excessive anti-nuke slant. It was an AP story printed in the Prince George (B.C.) Citizen. The story is about a small radioactive water leak in a nuclear station in Ohio.
A couple of quotes from the story: "The amount of water from the pipe was so small when discovered Friday that it was not quantified in the report...", "It involved water from the reactor, so it is radioactive water but it is within the containment building and nothing was released. Our workers were not affected," he said.
Ok, so there's a very small leak, inside the containment structure. Sounds like only a minor hazard, nothing to freak about. But the thing that got me was the headline: "N-plant leaking into Lake Erie". Factually contradicted by the story itself, and clearly just used to grab attention. Hell, why not call it "Ultra dangerous, hyper-nuclear, death klabooie!!!"

Quality time.

2008-01-06T18:30:00.000-05:00

I just returned from taking Spousal-Unit back to her apartment so she can continue with school and work next week. She was able to arrange a week off to come here and visit with me and the furry folks. Unfortunately, just before coming here, she picked up a flu/cold thing from her sister and spent the first part of the week feeling miserable. We had to postpone a get-together with B-meister and his wife W. We figured a couple of days delay while spouse recovers, no big deal. Then, of course, I get sick. I spent the last half of the week feeling like warmed-over snail snot, with an oozing, goo-packed cranium and the effective I.Q. of a pro wrestling fan. Quote of the week: "uungghgghh...." (with appropriate nasal honk). I had to miss 2 days of work, which is now actually something I miss. Sadly we had to pass on B and W's invitation, which we had been looking forward to. When Spouse spoke to B on the phone he seemed upset, perhaps offended by this. I'll have to speak with him and apologize, but I simply didn't feel right going to their place, spreading microbes to them and their offspring, and staring at the wall in a medication induced stupor.

So, overall the week was not everything we had hoped for. But at least we were together.

Yeah, that's about right.

2007-12-22T10:47:00.000-05:00

A very detailed (long, anyway) quiz says that if I was a D&D character I would be, at least for the mood I'm in right now:

Lawful Neutral Human Wizard (5th Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength- 13
Dexterity- 14
Constitution- 13
Intelligence- 14
Wisdom- 13
Charisma- 11

Alignment:Lawful Neutral- A lawful neutral character acts as law, tradition, or a personal code directs him. Order and organization are paramount to him. He may believe in personal order and live by a code or standard, or he may believe in order for all and favor a strong, organized government. Lawful neutral is the best alignment you can be because it means you are reliable and honorable without being a zealot. However, lawful neutral can be a dangerous alignment because it seeks to eliminate all freedom, choice, and diversity in society.

Race:Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Class:Wizards- Wizards are arcane spellcasters who depend on intensive study to create their magic. To wizards, magic is not a talent but a difficult, rewarding art. When they are prepared for battle, wizards can use their spells to devastating effect. When caught by surprise, they are vulnerable. The wizard's strength is her spells, everything else is secondary. She learns new spells as she experiments and grows in experience, and she can also learn them from other wizards. In addition, over time a wizard learns to manipulate her spells so they go farther, work better, or are improved in some other way. A wizard can call a familiar- a small, magical, animal companion that serves her. With a high Intelligence, wizards are capable of casting very high levels of spells.

Detailed Results:
Alignment:Lawful Good ----- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (20)
Neutral Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (17)
Chaotic Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Lawful Neutral -- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (20)
True Neutral ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (17)
Chaotic Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Lawful Evil ----- XXXXXXXXXXX (11)
Neutral Evil ---- XXXXXXXX (8)
Chaotic Evil ---- XXXXX (5)

Law & Chaos:Law ----- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Neutral - XXXXXXX (7)
Chaos --- XXXX (4)

Good & Evil:
Good ---- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Evil ---- X (1)

Race:Human ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Dwarf ---- XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Elf ------ XXXX (4)
Gnome ---- XXXXXXXX (8)
Halfling - XXXXXX (6)
Half-Elf - XXXXXX (6)
Half-Orc - XXXXXX (6)

Class:Barbarian - (-25)
Bard ------ (-19)
Cleric ---- (-4)
Druid ----- XX (2)
Fighter --- XX (2)
Monk ------ XX (2)
Paladin --- (-19)
Ranger ---- (-6)
Rogue ----- (-4)
Sorcerer -- XX (2)
Wizard ---- XXXXXX (6)

Try it yourself if you're nerd enough.

"I'm not looking back, but I want to look around me now."

2007-12-17T18:53:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'll admit it: I like '80s music. I was in high school from '82 to '87 so that was the kind of stuff I was exposed to in those formative years. I didn't get to hear a lot back then due to "lifestyle limitations", but in the time since I've been able to fill in some of what I missed. Then along came the drug known as i-Tunes. Damn you, Steve Jobs!!! I was able to find a couple of old fave and fill in my collection.
Lately I've discovered the Radio function and I've re-learned that my preferred flavour of '80s music is what is termed "Alternative". Nowadays Alternative really isn't; it's actually pretty mainstream. Back then, Alternative stuff would only get played on the little college or university stations, blasting out with an awesome 50 watts, you could received them almost to the end of the street. I remember listening to CHRW back in 81 or 82 and hearing Depeche Mode, The Church, and other obscure bands. Groups that later got bigger or only became known with the retro phase that started in the 90s.
Now I'm listening to something called 1.FM 80's Alternative channel, and I'm hearing a lot of extremely cool stuff that is entirely new to me! Bands I've never heard of but are great. I love the clean, crisp, slick 80's sounds. Music before record execs ordered their engineers to cram every decibel possible into every frequency, destroying dynamic range for the sake of loudness, turning every tune into a droning buzz, hiding melody for the sake of overpowered, window rattling bass.
So, yes, I like old '80s stuff far better than anything new. So be it. That's what I like, and that's what I'll have.
Thar be a wee bit o' chair dancing going on here!

Back and intact.

2007-12-17T18:40:00.000-05:00

I'm back in Laketown again after a 1 day delay due to evil weather. Thanks to the big ol' snowstorm that rolled through Sunday, my only 2 plausible routes back here were closed. And there was no f&*%ing way I was going to try the back roads in those conditions; I had a big enough scare last Feb to put me off that well and good. Anywho, the roads were open today, so I made my way back. Note that I said "open", not "good". There were areas where the actual location of the road was judged by "ok, aim for the middle of this flattish area", as the view was plain white without any contrast created by, say, previous tire tracks. So some places were a relative crawl. Plus the occasional whiteout from passing trucks or some farmer's snowblower. Again, I'll praise the new snow tires. Worth every penny as Spousal Unit said Sunday.

So I missed a day of work. On the previous job this would have been cause for celebration, followed by an explanation "that management expects us to make every effort to attend regardless of external factors...bla bla bla" or similar bullshit, meaning "I expect you to sacrifice yourself to make me look good". My new employer is much cooler. I offered to trade my vacation day which I'd scheduled for later this week for today, and the response was an easy "Ok, no problem, just put it on your time sheet tomorrow." Sweet. I doesn't hurt that sometimes I actually look forward to going into work.

Have a terrifying solstice...

2007-12-10T20:47:00.000-05:00

A cute little Christmas ornament of pure evil.

Merry Cthulhumas.

Can anyone find the old flashlight?

2007-12-02T10:12:00.000-05:00

You know the junk drawer? Maybe it isn't even a drawer, but it's that place that just seems to accumulate the miscellaneous thingamajigs that don't get thrown away. You know, the little plastic doohickey from something, or the odd metal dealy with the flanges? I've got a few of those odd, unidentified things in my brain. Not literally of course, except for the crayon lodged up my nose that's been lowering my IQ. No, wait, that's Homer Simpson.
No, these are some odd little memories, or dreams, or memories of dreams. Sometimes I'm not even sure which. These are things that I've been carrying since earliest childhood; indeed, they are some of my earliest memories. And I still can't make much sense of them.

1. This is thing I think of as my earliest memory, and it's stuck with me and bothered me most of my life. It's an image, and an feeling of where I am. I'm in a large, dimly lit room or space. I'm looking up, I think I'm lying on my back. The ceiling is a kind of flat, corrugated steel sheet, the wavy steel sheets often seen in rural areas, but I don't have the feeling this an agricultural place. The air is cool, not cold or uncomfortable though. I think I'm lying on bare wood. And that's it. That's the memory. It's been with me as long as I can remember. And I have no idea if it was a real place or what. It's actually been kind of a haunting feeling. Strange.
2. The next was a recurring dream I had through most of childhood, and once or twice since. It starts with a feeling/image of old, wet wood, slightly rotting. The air feels close and heavy, like just before a thunderstorm. There is light where I am, but the distance background seems dark. Next, there is a huge *something*, I guess best described as a gigantic, white tidal wave, but almost solid, and without texture. It is smooth and even everywhere. And I feel like it is taking me, and carrying me away. And there is a feeling of power, and noise, but in dream logic, there is actually no sound.
3. Another dream from childhood, and possibly the oddest one and the hardest to describe. This one seemed to happen when I was sick and feverish. It was very odd, and seemed to involve very massive (as in actual weight) blocks. But I could actually "feel" their massiveness. The colours were kind of dim, yellow/gray/brown. And I didn't feel that it was so much me observing this, as I was a point moving through it. The blocks moved but didn't, but spatially, things did not seem to follow the usual geometry or 3 dimensional rules as real life. They seemed to change in size, mass and position as my point moved through them, even though, somehow they didn't actually change. It almost seems (now) like a kind of synethesia (mixing up of senses).

I have no idea what any of these mean, if anything. The first one, as far as I can recall, only occurred once, and I don't think it was a dream. But it seemed so strong and important that it has stuck with me. The other two were dreams that kept coming back year after year.

They likely mean nothing at all. Just the disjointed creations of a young, growing mind. Still, I get that kind of 'that's a bit creepy' feeling when I think about them.

Evil Thought for Today

2007-11-28T15:53:00.001-05:00

"People! Can't live with them, can't get a licence for a doomsday device."

And now a word from our sponsor...

2007-11-22T19:56:00.000-05:00

Two posts ago I babbled about buying winter tires. Well, today proved that to be a good idea. I woke up this morning to discover our first big, bad blast of weather for the season. Compared to last February, this wasn't much, but it still made driving a slightly more risky affair. Unlike the usual idiots who don't change their driving habits for the conditions, I took it easy on the way to work, but I could tell by the feel of the car that the grip was better. Indeed, I decended a steep, glassy hill with nary a slip. Not something to test too far, but good to have anyway.

Evil Thought of the Day

2007-11-16T19:34:00.000-05:00

Something that popped into my head at lunch today:

"I dislike conflict. That's why I'm going to destroy you quickly."

Said at the beginning of the regular lunchtime card game.

On a more pleasant note...

2007-11-16T19:06:00.000-05:00

...I suppose. I just shelled out $900 for a set of snow tires and rims. Yep, the car has new winter boots: Bridgestone Blizzaks. After the fun I had on the roads up here last winter, this was a must.
Also, a couple of weeks ago I attended a driving course called Skid School, paid for by my employer. I guess they would rather have us arrive at work intact. What nice people! Part of the course involved performing collision avoidance maneuvers with different types of tires. It was quite clear that they were pushing Blizzaks (must be getting advertising bucks from Bridgestone), as they made sure to point how they were superior to the all-seasons, or having snows on just front or back, and the poster in the classroom. Still, the point was made.

Just so you don't think I'm a sucker for a sales pitch, I had previously been considering these tires or the Michelin equivalents. It just turned out that the tire place I went to (recommended by several coworkers) didn't carry Michelins.

So I'll now be a little safer when the weather around here goes completely to hell. Which it will.

The next plan is to put together a winter survival kit for the car, and a first aid kit (my employer trained my on that too).

Stand By Me

2007-11-16T18:38:00.000-05:00

The spousal unit has gone back to university to finish her degree, and some people don't seem to like it. She has been quite discouraged lately by the response of some. The latest was just yesterday, when a long time friend and his wife decided that Spouse was not making acceptable choices about her life, and that she had no right to blog about things that bothered her. I can only guess that they are leading the correct and proper life and this gives them the right and duty to rudely and arrogantly point out other's errors. I was bothered by this and fired back with my own rebuttal. At this point the former friend made it clear that Spouse was no longer acceptable friend material. I used to like this man, I considered him intelligent, well read, and thoughtful, but now I can only see him as an inflexible, self-righteous dickhead. It seems that anyone who disagrees with him or his wife, or makes choices they wouldn't, is branded as an evil idiot. Apparently we are not the first friends they've thrown away for not matching their ideal way of living. Well, FUCK THEM! Sooner or later they'll find out they've run out of friends.

Real friends will tolerate your mistakes, even if they're the only ones who see them as such. Trust me, I've made this mistake myself twice in my life and regretted both. I threw away one friend for having a drug habit (which he later kicked), and another for cheating on his significant other.

Spouse's parents have been less than supportive as well. Her mother seems of the mind that unless there is a direct, practical, quick payoff to this education it is not worthwhile. She's been giving Spouse the cold shoulder. At least she hasn't disowned us.

Others, however, have different opinions. We have other friends (real friends it seems) who think that this is a wonderful thing. They are very much appreciated right now. We'll be seeing some of them this weekend, and I'll be sure to thank them.

She gave up her chance to finish over ten years ago, instead following me when I took a job out of town. I've learned to understand what that cost her. I won't ask her to give it up again. I believe it is important to complete this, even if it doesn't lead to a monetary payoff. MONEY IS NOT THE ONLY REWARD! OR THE MOST IMPORTANT! I put off leaving a job I hated because of the fear of losing money, to the point where it got me fired. The need for money made me miserable.
We are making sacrifices to do this. I won't say I'm enjoying them, but I see them as necessary.
To hell with those who would abandon us for this, or for defending what we're doing. To those who disapprove but keep it to themselves, so be it; hold your tongues. To those with us, thank you for being true friends.

Back in the Saddle Again....and my ass is sore!

2007-11-07T17:14:00.000-05:00

Ok, first post in a while. My lack of updates has been due to a couple of factors: large doses of overtime in the last month while lending my support to the maintenance shutdown (called an outage) which tired me out (60 hrs per week for a month); forgetfulness: I would think of something to write, but by the time I was actually I would forget what I wanted to say, or get distracted by something else; or simple laziness.

A man's got to know his limitations.

Today I was speaking with my friend B-meister, and he was telling me about some of his stresses at work. I do a car-pool type of thing with B, as he works at the same company (different building), and he often talks about work and the very impressive sounding projects he's working on. B is probably one of the smartest and most self-motivated and driven people I know. Understand that I went to university for engineering with B, back in the early 1990's. I managed to get through and graduate from that. Graduation was followed by a hell of a tough time finding work, followed by several increasingly better paying jobs, ending last year. Various people, including B, told me how smart I was because I was able to get through the program and get the degree, etc. However, it seemed every time I turned around, either when looking for a job or when actually doing it that I was often sadly lacking in certain background skills and knowledge, or would make errors that would make me fell like I didn't belong there. Often this caused a paralyzing lack of confidence in actually doing some tasks.

Since grade school I'd always had people telling me they thought I was intelligent, yet my grades were rarely stellar. High school was the same and I was just able to squeak into university. First year U was ok, but after that it was a gradual downward slide, and I ended up taking an extra 2 years to finish. All along though, I was around some very intelligent and capable people, and some self confidence seemed to rub off.

This confidence, and the high expectations I had for myself didn't seem to pay off though. Like I said, real life results didn't measure up. I'd also occasionally hear about the accomplishments of my former peers, and compare mine unfavourably. The last year or so, with getting fired and all, have forced me to re-examine my abilities. I've come to the realization that I'm not as smart as I thought I was, and I likely won't accomplish anything hugely impressive. I'm just an average guy. And I think I'm ok with that. My self image has changed, along with my ambitions. I guess this is just part of my recent experiences, and getting older and, I guess, slightly wiser. Now I think I'll be happy with just doing my job decently, and not screwing up too much. I'll go to work, do my job, and come home. I'll live my quiet little life and just try to be content with what I am, and let others do the great things and suffer the stresses involved.

A somewhat serious post.

2007-09-19T15:49:00.001-04:00

Ok, time for my 50th of a dollar on the subject of global warming, climate change, whatever. I'm not going to argue that most scientists believe it, and a few don't. There are a zillion arguments either way, and it seems to me very little clear truth to be sifted from the mess. As usual, everybody spins things to support what they already want to believe. Same as with politics, religion, and sports.
So I'll approach it from a somewhat simpler angle.
1. Hundreds of millions of years ago, life forms started using carbon as a primary component of their bodies and metabolisms. They obtained this carbon from the environment (atmosphere, gasses from volcanos, and such).
2. As these critters and plants snuffed it, many of their itty-bitty bodies ended up in positions where geological processes changed them chemically into coal, oil, gas, and similar types of burnable things.
3. The above two things went on for many hundreds of millions of years, collecting jillions of tons of carbon and locking it away.
4. Jump ahead a while, until the mid-1800's or so. These silly little ape descendants start yanking all this stuff out of the ground and burning it, releasing this carbon back into the environment.
5. Summary: Over hundreds of millions of years, vast and ridiculous amounts of the stuff is hidden away. We dig it up, and put it back in 150 years! How can this not have an effect!

The speed at which things are done matters. Look at the gas tank of your car: burn it a little at a time in a controlled way, and you can get around town. Burn it all at once, and you have a bomb.

From one bunch of clowns to another...

2007-09-04T17:36:00.000-04:00

I came across this link on William Gibson's blog:

Clowns KKKick KKK ass!

Good for a chuckle or two.

Ever notice how folks like Nazis, the KKK, religious fanatics, etc. never seem to have a sense of humour? Unless they're laughing at someone else's suffering. A sure sign of mental illness.

Pointed Sticks at High Velocity

2007-08-31T19:39:00.000-04:00

I'm taking up a new hobby. Something to fill the lonely hours that's perhaps a bit more productive and active than sitting in front of a computer decimating hordes of evil whatevers. I'm taking up archery. I've been thinking about it for years, but just never had the initiative to go and do it.

Well, I happened to mention my possible interest during lunch one day, and it turns out that one of my noontime cribbage opponents is an archer. So several weeks ago we went out shooting at a local range. This was the first time I had actually handled a real bow and launched arrows. I was surprised how well I did considering this lack of experience. I only lost one arrow in the woods.

So, I'm looking to join the local club; they'll vote on letting me in next week. And I purchased a used compound bow (has pulleys, the tension lets off as you pull so it's easier to hold the draw). Today I took it to a local shop for a new string, setting up draw length, some arrows, and a quiver.

On top of all this, there is an indoor range within walking distance of home! So I can go shooting all winter. Yay.

Locational errors.

2007-08-05T21:35:00.000-04:00

Ok, I'm back. It's been a while. We completed to moves to Spousal Unit's apartment, and the new place in the new home town near ye olde atom mill. It was certainly not without incident. Perhaps I'll write on that later.
Currently I'm at Spousal Unit's (SU) place on a visit. She is out being a venue manager at the Fringe Festival here. And as I look around the place, my eyes invariably fall on various items we had at the old house. As I look at them, I can't not think of where in that house they used to sit. I'd thought I wouldn't miss the old house much, as I hadn't felt attached to any place since leaving the house I grew up in. But it seems that 6 years in our house (in the middle of our street) had some effect.
Over the years we've moved many times, each time throwing away more or less "junk". During this last move we disposed of a hell of a lot of stuff. Things that we didn't need, didn't want, or just failed to have any meaning to us ended up in some scrap heap or other. And then I look around at what's left, and remember where it was. Some of it links back to where I grew up. A lot of stuff from back then was pitched or given away years ago, but I sometimes still think of it when I go on little tours of the old place in my mind. I lived there for 22 years, and I can still remember every detail. From the smell of old floor wax in the utility closet, to the dirty linoleum top of the workbench my father built in the basement, to the marks I put in the underside of the built-in desk in my room when I was about 6. The objects in this mental model are part of it. Some of them I still have. Many are gone. Sometimes it feels that by getting rid of them I'm throwing away my past. Or betraying my parents.
But I also see that they are just objects. Just things. And as I get older I realize that things just aren't that important. But I still feel that link to the past through them, either to my origin many years ago, or just to the last house we lived in. Seeing them here, in different, unfamiliar places just feels strange.

Misplaced good intentions, or dogmatic zealots?

2007-06-18T16:54:00.000-04:00

Last week Greenpeace issued a "study" that made the alarming claim that "Pregnant women and children under the age of four should avoid living within 10 kilometres of nuclear power plants". A pretty strong statement. They also state that federal standards allow up to 7,000 Becquerels per litre of tritium in drinking water. This is true. A Becquerel is equivalent to one nuclear decay per second. Tritium is an unstable isotope of hydrogen. It has a half-life of 12.3 years, and decays by emitting a very weak beta particle (electron). It is only a hazard if taken into the body, usually in the form of water.
However their claim of the danger is alarmist and misleading. Here are a few facts that GP didn't make a lot of noise about:
1. Radioactive emissions of all types are closely monitored by the CNSC (Canadian Nuclear Safety Commission). Failure to meet CNSC requirements can result in loss of a licence to operate. With revenues on the order of $1 million per day per reactor, does it seem likely that an operator with take chances on losing a licence? Not to mention the public relations disaster.
2. Industry standards (self imposed) are 70 Bq/l, not 7000. The place I work at maintains less than 20 Bq/l.
3. Drinking 250ml (1 cup) of water with 100 Bq/l would give you a dose of about 0.0004 mrem (milliRem). The same volume of milk: 0.0006 mrem from natural sources. By comparison, you receive 27 mrem per year from cosmic background radiation, 28 from the earth's crust, 50 from naturally occurring elements in your body, and if you smoke 1-2 packs a day you're getting a whopping 1300 mrem per year. In order to get an extra dose equivalent to what the average non-smoker receives in a year (about 250 mrem), you would have to drink about 39000 litres of tritiated water (at 100 Bq/l).

But, of course, they omit little details like this. Like the fact that eating bananas (chock full of that yummy potassium-40) is more dangerous than living around a nuclear plant. To put things in proper perspective would not be spectacular enough. And flashy scare-mongering is what brings in the donations, isn't it?
Don't get me wrong, I think Greenpeace is a good and useful group. They've done some good work in the past, but as far as their attitude to nuclear power goes, I simply believe they're wrong. So does GP founder Patrick Moore.

To be continued.

**In the interest of full disclosure, the facts quoted about are taken from AECL, UNSCEAR, and CNSC.

Musical Meme Thingy

2007-06-07T16:16:00.000-04:00

Ok, I've been tagged by the spousal unit with this:
1. Go to www.popculturemadness.com
2. Pick the year you turned 18
3. Get yourself nostalgic over the songs of the year
4. Write something about how the songs affected you

The trick is that I wasn't really much into music back then. We only had an old stereo receiver and an early '70s portable cassette recorder. But I still heard a few things on the radio and around school. Scanning the list...
Robert Palmer, Addicted to Love. Yep, a bunch of identical model types. Just the thing for an 18 year old male.
Bangles, Walk Like an Egyptian. Just something heard around school. Kind of liked it, actually.
Peter Gabriel, Sledge Hammer. Very cool video. Later on I got "introduced" to PG again by some friends. 'So' is still one of my all time fave albums.
Falco, Rock Me Amadeus. Thought is was kind of cool then. Now it just sounds like pretentious Eurotrash. Yes, I hate Kraftwerk too.
Dire Straights, Walk of Life. I've been a big DS fan for a very long time. I used to play a copy of Brothers in Arms in the old mono Sony with one earplug while playing games on my Atari 600XL. This is still a sing-along-in-the-car tune for me.
Anything by Wham! Hated them. I was more than a bit homophobic back then. Now I just hate it for being sickly sweet pop drivel.
I still absolutely despise Bon Jovi. I hate the sound, I hate the image. Pure commercial crap.
Other stuff I was hearing around that time, and still like: Police, Depeche Mode, Psychedelic Furs, Billy Idol.
I know this was supposed to be '86, but here are a few others: Men at Work's Business as Usual still takes me back to my first D&D games. Huey Lewis' Walking on a Thin Line was the tune for playing Pole Position, while Zenyatta Mondatta by the Police was for extended games of Archon.
Then there was Genesis: Take Me Home. Grade 11 field trip. This was played in the bus on the way back. Great song. Bruce Hornsby's The Way it Is, I still think of the cold, snowy December/January days when that came out.

Enough for now.

Making changes...

2007-06-05T18:24:00.000-04:00

As we trudge towards the big relocation, now about a month away, and try to ensure we cover every last detail, I'm making one other small adjustment. As the area I'm moving to is one of the few places in Canada that the Rogers vast telecom octopus hasn't suckered onto, I will be moving to another service. This means losing the old e-mail address, and their Yahoo based browser. Not a huge loss in my opinion. So I've grabbed the opportunity to switch browsers to Firefox. I've just downloaded and installed it, without any trouble whatsoever. I was actually surprised how easy it was. So far I like it. A nice clean, neat, logical interface. The only hassle is going to be with bookmarks. Yahoo has a web-based bookmark thing, where the list was stored on some server somewhere, and not on my good ol' electric abacus. So there's no easy translation. This means the tedious, one-at-a-time, go-to-the-site-and-bookmark-it method. I also need to check out the security features before I try any banking. But, so far, so good.

Going down....

2007-05-15T18:26:00.000-04:00

I just heard Jerry Falwell died today. And the world is a slightly better place. Nasty thing to say, I know, but I can't bring myself to shed a tear for that bloated bigot. The man represented what I consider many of the worst aspects of religion. He was an intolerant, self-righteous, arrogant slime. Ever since I heard him speak back in the 80's, he's made me cringe.
There is an animation in an episode of Monty Python which features a wide-faced pastor, grinning ear-to-ear, spouting some crap about how much his church loves you, bla bla... Then the grin spreads around his head and the top lifts off to reveal a devil swimming around the goo inside. He then tries to nail the top of his head back into place. I always thought of Falwell whenever I saw this.
Well, sir, enjoy the hell that you were so eager to condemn others to.

New stress

2007-05-15T18:20:00.000-04:00

Ok, so we sold the house. Now I've got about 6 weeks left to find a new place near the atom mill, get all the legalities, money crap, and other junk done so I can move. The spousal unit has already found a place to stay while finishing school.
The problem is that the atom mill creates a pretty big demand for housing around here, so there isn't that much that fits the price range we're looking at. I'll be looking at a place in couple of days, and if it looks halfway decent for a reasonable price, I'll probably snap it up. Meanwhile, the fluttery insects are partying in the digestive tract.

Another Triumph for Science!

2007-04-26T18:23:00.000-04:00

This is the kind of research to be doing:

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=070425164048.jxev9w4o&show_article=1&catnum=9

Mmmm....beer.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest? -or- "Funny, you don't smell like you fell in shit."

2007-04-21T18:42:00.000-04:00

Ok, now that the last of the severance payments has been received and deposited, all ties back to the hell where I spent 7.5 mostly miserable years are now cut. As far as I'm concerned, me, and the assholes who fired me, are now completely through with each other. And good riddance to them.

So now I'm working at the ol' atom mill about 2 hours drive north of here, renting out a room and coming home on weekends. And I'm happy to report that I am enjoying this job a hell of a lot more. Actually, occasionally I feel I can look back at my previous employers and laugh, imagining that they expected my career to nose dive after this. Well, the trick was to dump a career that I hated. Perhaps the new job isn't engineering, but so what?; I'm not out the thrill anyone with titles. So I am now a "Radiation Protection Technician", or more commonly, "Rad Tech". That's ok with me.

So let's look at some of the advantages of this new vocation:
1. I am starting out at a base pay rate of about 85% of what I was making at my peak in the old job. And things are starting to look like this will go up rapidly. The potential is to earn up to 30 or 40% more than I was at! This doesn't include the annual bonus paid to everyone, dependant on company performance (last year it was $1500!), and overtime. Overtime is 2x. Sweet.
2. The benefits are top notch. My sister in law works for the benefits provider, and she says the package is one of the best around.
3. Straight day shift, except for overtime and such.
4. I'm in the union. Yep, that's right, this long time, white-collared, raise anti-unionist is now a card carrying brother worker, with a definite bluish tinge around the neck. At least I now have some defense against the whims of upper management.
5. Coolness factor is high. I'm working in a nuclear power plant! To me, that is a major tweaking of my inner tech geek side.
6. Related to the coolness factor, I'm learning tons of stuff about nuclear physics, various gizmos, and the like. Beats hell out of learning to meet the latest idiotic demand from some knob at GM or Ford.
7. I can relax a bit. The expectations are much more realistic. No more being responsible for things I have no control over.
8. A beautiful place to live, on the western shore of a large lake. The winters can be brutal, but I'm told the rest of the year more than compensates.
9. Working with some good folks. For the most part, all the folks in my department are very cool. Lots of joking around and good-natured ribbing, but also making sure the job gets done.
10. Lots of exercise. The size of the place, and the nature of the job result in lots of walking and stair climbing. I'm feeling better already.

So there it is. Last summer I fell in a pile of manure, and this spring I'm coming out smelling sweet. And I can now think of my previous employer and laugh.

2007-03-28T16:11:00.000-04:00

Today I heard someone whistling the theme music for Chariots of Fire. You know, that slow, majestic tune that accompanies a bunch of guys running in slo-mo on a beach in the 1920's. And it reminded me of something that had occurred to me many years ago, when I first heard it played: this tune is "On Top of Spaghetti"! (or the original, "On Top of Old Smokey". Think about it. It's the same tune, just slowed down and softened. You can even sing along. It couldn't be a more blatant rip off.
Well, I guess if you're going to plagiarize, it's best to steal from the public domain so you don't get sued.

Mood music.

2007-03-25T17:23:00.000-04:00

Something that was crawling around in my skull a few weeks ago:

For some unknown reason, I was in a bit of an odd mood today. I guess thinking about selling the house and all the upcoming changes have got me in an introspective way. A combination of the weather and some tunes reminded me of a time about 18 or so years ago, back when I was young and insane. Funny how the right music at the right time can take you back.
The music in question was Dire Straits Alchemy Live album. Way back when, I had this on cassette tape (remember those, kids?) and I played it in my car until the tape was stretched and the sound distorted. A gray day driving around town with this playing gave me a hint of how I felt back then. Kind of like a burp that reminds you of a past meal. But it was only a hint of the feeling; it was clear that I could never have more than that. It's like that meal was a delicious roast of some animal that is now extinct, and the belch just reinforces the fact that you'll never have it again.

Take this Meme and shove it.

2007-03-19T19:41:00.000-04:00

A meme thingy stolen from the spousal unit.

How tall are you barefoot?
6' 1", more if I lie down.

Have you ever flown first-class?
Yes, on a business trip years ago. The secretary who booked my flight must have liked me. Nice. Bigger seats, better food, drinks, and in case of a nose first crash I'd be one of the first to die.

One of your favorite books when you were a child?
Define child. I don't remember much of what I read before high school. Then it was The Lord of the Rings. I actually almost cried at the end. After investing so much time in it, it felt like I was saying goodbye to good friends.

A good restaurant in your city?
The spousal unit introduced me to Bertoldi’s Italian trattoria. Awesome food, but a little pricey. All my old favourites are gone or sadly degenerated in quality.

What is your favorite small appliance?
The Amazing Ronco Turnip Twaddler! But seriously, it would have to be the microwave, as I am a lazy cook.

One person that never fails to make you laugh?
Terry Pratchett, author of the Discworld books. Read any beyond the first two, and you'll see.

First LP you ever bought?
The soundtrack to The Empire Strikes Back. I was such a little sci-fi nerd!

Do you do push-ups?
No, but I've recently re-started some weight lifting. A bench press is kind of an upside-down pushup, isn't it?

What was one of your favorite games as a child?
Again, define child. I started playing Dungeons & Dragons in grade 9 or so, and have loved the game ever since, though I never got to play as much as I would have liked. (still don't)

When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I never really thought about it back then. I was more concerned with my dad and helping him cope with his medical problems.

Your favorite Soup of the Day?
Spousal unit's spicy, bacon-cheeseburger soup. Great stuff. Even better the next day.

Have you ever met someone famous?
Douglas Adams, author of the Hitchhiker's Guide series, at a book signing in university. He had just travelled from Toronto through a nasty blizzard and wasn't in a very talkative mood. However, I was near the front of the line and snagged a couple of autographs before his hand got tired.

Date Of Birth?
See the profile.

From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news?
Daily Show, Colbert Report, Fark, Boing-Boing, Slashdot, CBC Newsworld, CTV Newsnet.

Current worry?
That the new job will fall through.

Current hate?
My ex-boss still has a special, dark, cold, spider-infested place in my heart. I'm sure this will fade to a socially acceptable background level with time.

Favorite place to be?
At home with Spousal-unit and the cats, or out being silly with our friends.

Least favorite place to be?
Any of the various circles of Hell. But I guess that's the point.
Any place playing loud, crappy music.

Do you consider yourself well organized?
Reasonably, when given the time and quiet to concentrate.

Do you believe in an afterlife?
Rationally, no. Deep down gut feeling: I certainly hope so.

Where do you think you will be in 10 Yrs?
In the bustling metropolis of Kincardine, and still working at the ol' atom mill.

Do you burn or tan?
In the sun, I tan. When on fire, I burn.

Are you more optimistic or pessimistic about the future?
Optimistic, mostly.
"The glass is neither half full or half empty, it is simply twice as big as it needs to be."

What did you fear was going to get you at night as a kid?
Nuclear war. Seriously, during the 80's I figured I probably wouldn't live to adulthood.

What’s in your pockets right now?
A magic ring of power....why does it wants to know, precious?

Last thing that made you laugh?
The 8th episode of the Hitchhiker's Guide Radio Series, to which I was just listening.

Worst injury you’ve ever had?
I've never had anything really serious. I guess the nasty scrape down my ribs from the corner of a railing after slipping on ice.

How many TVs do you own?
One. But someday I hope to have a room with fifty or more, so I can watch everything at once.

Best compliment received?
Pass.

What leaves you speechless?
Lack of oxygen.

What is your favorite book?
I can’t choose just one.

Last meal you cooked for the opposite sex?
Hell, I don't remember the last meal I cooked for myself!

What were you doing at 12 midnight last night?
Stalking the streets in search of evildoers to thwart. I'm Batman!

Lousy Commies!

2007-03-19T19:24:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm back. For a while I just didn't feel like writing. Then when I finally did, I realized I had forgotten my username and password. D'oh! I've been trying to remember too many other passwords of late.
Anyway, now I discover that I'm being forced to use the new version of Blogger (no longer in beta), which I had been intentionally avoiding. The spousal unit and others had complained about it after switching. I hate being forced to change to something that is not necessarily better. But now that the Google Empire has swallowed Blogger, we must comply. Resistance is futile! You will be assimilated!

Well, life has been eventful over the last couple of months. I'm not ready to reveal all just yet, but here are a couple of thoughts:

1. I've had a painful revelation about my distant past. I'm still trying to digest it and will probably write some more about it later.

2. Q: Why do chicken coops have two doors? A: Because if they had four doors they would be chicken sedans!
Groan! So bad it's good.

3. "He who laughs last, thinks slowest." I'll be laughing last about something, which I will explain in about 4 weeks.

Now, let's see what this evil regime does with my post...

Terror idiots

2007-01-27T18:28:00.000-05:00

Seems like you can't go one day without hearing about some mental midget blowing himself up and murdering a few dozen folks who were just out for the daily shopping. Now we all know that this is a horrible and evil act* But the thing that I just don't understand is this: "Mr. Terrorist/rebel/"freedom fighter", how does this vile act advance your cause one inch? You have a gripe with the government? With a religion? With the big, bad USA? So you kill a bunch of women, children, average people. Does the government suddenly say, "Oh, all right then. You guys take over, we give up!"? Nope. Does the other sect (whose view of the 'true faith' only differs from yours by the position of a comma on page 751, so they are heretics and must die!) suddenly realize their horrible error and convert? Nope. Does George the thickey agree that American-style hypercapitalism is a mistake and order all corporations to close down their foreign operations? As much chance as a snowball in a supernova.
And now the big question: HAS A SINGLE TERRORIST OPERATION IN THE LAST 50 YEARS ACTUALLY ACHEIVE THEIR GOALS BY KILLING PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THESE GOALS? Again, a resounding NO!
So, from a strictly practical point of view, it just doesn't work! The IRA finally figured that out after 75 years. To get what you want takes the real source of power: money. To paraphrase Tony Montana of Scarface, "First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get what you really want." Real political power takes money, and lots of it.
Strapping on a bomb and getting on the subway just won't do it.

That's my babbling rant for the day.

*I like to use the Terry Pratchett definition of evil: "Treating people like things". Treating them like vermin, cattle, expendable resources, etc. I think this can be found at the root of just about everything considered evil.

Scaredy Cat

2007-01-13T11:22:00.000-05:00

Well, we picked up little Sir William last night and brought him home. He's been very quiet, hardly said a word. We had one of the spare bedrooms set up as his 'transitional room'. Yesterday I rented a carpet cleaner and did all the upstairs floors. Plus we had gone through a lot of stuff up there in pitch/pack/giveaway mode, both in preparation for Willy the Wonder Cat and for eventually moving.
We did some shopping yesterday for the little guy: food dish, litter box, catnip, feathery-thing-on-a-stick, water dish (electric, recirculating, dome gizmo). He came with his own bed, some toys, food, and a carpet covered furniture/climby thing.
He spend most of last night scared. I sat in the room for a couple of hours until he finally poked his head out of the carrier. After very cautiously surveying the room, he hid under my chair. Eventually, I left the room to give him a chance to check things out privately. I went downstairs to watch a little TV. Soon came the thumping sounds of cat playing. Later, when I checked on him, he had eaten, used the litter, and played with one of his toy mice, but was back hiding. We checked on him a couple of times more last night and left the blinds open for some light.
Today he's still nervous. Spousal unit is sitting in there with him now. Given time I'm sure he'll adapt. We may wait up to a week before introducing him to Mowgli.
Mo is very curious about who's in that room, but she does not seem upset. A good sign, I think.

Meet the Hairy Things

2007-01-08T20:53:00.000-05:00

We have finally decided that our cat Mowgli needs a new friend. Her best buddy, Floyd, died almost 2 years ago at the age of 17 (we think). Since then she has lost much of her spark and energy. About all she does now is sleep. Now, this is typical of cats anyway, but she's sleeping even more than that. It's clear she is lonely and bored. So we figured this might be a good time to introduce a new critter to the household; give us some time to adjust before I head off to the new job, and some time to bond to Mo before we sell the house.
We contacted an organization called Animalert, which arranges foster homes and adoptions for animals. They look at each situation and try to pick animals whose personalities might be a good match. We were recommended two options: first is a pair of male cats who already know each other, and the other is an individual male whose friend was adopted a couple of months ago.
We met with the pair (Jay and Molson a.k.a. Carrot-Top) last Saturday. We liked them. Jay was quite energetic, and a bit friendly, while Molson was quiet and a bit timid. They were great, and I could certainly imagine them in our home.
Today we met the other cat, William. I have to say, I love this cat already. There is a chemistry there that I just didn't feel with the other two. For one thing he was very friendly and playful, and seemed to like me quite a bit, for a stranger he had just met. Initially I thought my reaction could be because he looks very similar to my lost pal Floyd. There were some superficial similarities in behaviour as well, but we was quite different in personality. I can't totally explain, but I had a strong gut-feeling that this was the cat for me (us). I think we will adapt well to Mo, and she will be able to get along with him as well.
So we came home and discussed it for maybe 5 minutes. But by this point, Sir William had won me over. There was no doubt. I liked Jay and Molson, but I really liked William. We'll be contacting Animalert tomorrow to let them know. We figure it will take about 3 weeks to determine if he'll fit in here with Mowgli.
Here's a picture of William:

Butthead of the Week Award...

2007-01-03T17:58:00.000-05:00

...goes to the dork sitting in his vehicle in front of the grocery store last night. Spousal unit and I went to pick up a few items to keep us going for a few days, so we parked in one of the many open designated parking spaces, like good little shoppers. As we're walking up to the store we notice this week's number one bozo sitting in his idling vehicle, apparently waiting for someone to come out. We often see people parked along the front of the store like this. Apparently they are far too important to be bothered by parking with the lowly masses.
So, anyway, Captain Smeghead here is sitting there wasting gas and helping us to have no more white Christmases ever while waiting for someone else to finish shopping. Someone who can't stand to walk to 40 or 50 feet to the nearest, actual, designated parking spot. Fine. We've seen this kind of thing before. Shrug it off.
Twenty minutes later, we've complete our purchase and are making the horrid, grueling trek back to our car, and guess what, there's the man the dinosaurs died for, still sitting there with the engine running.
As far as I'm concerned, this knob is out of the game:
* Idling your vehicle unnecessarily for 20+ minutes, puking out some more greenhouse gases to fuck up the world some more. Strike 1!
* Blocking space in front of the store because he and/or his wife are too fucking lazy to walk from a regular parking spot! Strike 2!
* And Strike 3 is that jerkboy is doing this in an SUV that, I can almost guarantee, has never been off pavement.
* And Strike 4 (my game, I make the rules), is that the thing was a BMW X5 or whatever. A BMW, I might have known. I've observed over the years that approximately 90% of BMW drivers are total assholes. Somehow they figure that overpaying for some Nazi land yacht makes them into some kind of superior, Eurotrash, uber-pinhead. "This isn't a parking lot! This is my personal autobahn!"

Spousal unit and I drove away in our humble Honda Civic, with a mixture of disgust and smug superiority.

2006, I'm glad that's finally over!

2007-01-01T00:17:00.000-05:00

I'll be blunt, for me 2006 royally sucked! Our reproductive attempts failed, succeeded, and failed. I was fired from a job I'd been at for 7.5 years (although, that may turn out to be a good thing in the longer term), by a drab little, no-nothing, Dilbert-level boss with a Napoleon complex. And the marriage thing got a bit of a shake up (in my mind, anyway). The year has been a roller-coaster ride of brutal ups and downs, mostly downs. I began to seriously question my sanity, and fear what the future would bring. However, the year ended with the bright note of a new job (almost certainly).

2007 will be difficult, but potentially rewarding. I've been doing a fair bit of daydreaming over the last while, imagining what life will be like:

1. The new job will take me away from this town and the Spousal Unit. She plans to stay and finish her university degree. This will take a couple of years. I understand why she wants to do this, but it won't be easy for either of us, and I worry about what it might do to our marriage. But, we've lasted more that 16 years together (13 married), through bad times and good, so I think we're strong enough to make it through this.
2. I'll be renting a room out temporarily until we can sell this house and get a place up there. Getting this place ready to sell, packing, and moving will be a serious annoyance. We'll probably buy a smaller place, possibly a condo, and use the equity money to finance Spousal Unit's schooling.
3. The time alone may actually be good for something. I'll have more time to concentrate on doing things myself. I can learn to cook (better). I'll spend more time exercising, reading, learning useful things, and less on stupid time wasting things like watching TV and playing games. Not to slag Spousal Unit, but often I find it hard to maintain the self discipline to avoid junk food and exercise regularly when she is around. I'm hoping a more regular schedule will help this.

Things I want to do while/after settling in:
1. Drop all but basic cable TV, or perhaps all TV. I'll keep the internet connection, of course.
2. Buy a new computer. I've been putting off upgrading for years because of money. The money freed up by getting a smaller home will clear off some debt, and allow us to make a few long wanted purchases. Yes, I'll get some new games, too. I won't go cold-turkey on those.
3. Buy Lego Mindstorms and start building robots and strange machines to irritate the cat.
4. Get another cat. Mo is lonely, and will be even moreso without Spousal Unit around. She needs someone to play with and keep her company when I'm at work.
5. Maybe set up a home gym. A power rack, a bench, a bar, a couple of dumbbell bars, and 3 or 4 hundred pounds of plates would set me up nicely. Until then, I may use the facilities at my new employer. I'll have to see what they have.
6. If possible, find a group in the new town that plays D&D or some other similar game. I'd like to get into a regular, reliable game.
7. Enjoy my new job. Enjoy the learning process. Keep a positive attitude. Study a few job-related self-improvement books, perhaps. I want to take a different approach than I had with the last job, which I had learned to hate.
8. Have the occasional visit with the Spouse. As much as possible. And, I hope, she will eventually want to join me in the new place permanently.

Anyway, that's my rough idea for 2007. We'll see.

Post Christmas Rambling, in which life is pretty darn decent, all things considered.

2006-12-26T12:57:00.000-05:00

Well, here it is, Boxing day (that's the day after X-mas for those who don't know). Boxing day, from what I understand, started out way back in England as a day when folks gave gifts of cash or durable goods to those of lower classes (gifts between equals being given the day before). A simple google search thing will reveal more, I'm sure.
Anywho, the big day was fairly decent, I really must say. Lots of useful gift cards and cash, lots of chocolate (I'm an addict, but even now I feel bloated and ill just thinking of another piece of the heavenly brown stuff). Spousal unit gave me a DVD of The Maltese Falcon. Yes, I know it's an old movie, but one that I love; the dialog is classic film-noir-hard-boiled-detective patter. She also gave me a sketchbook and some pencils & sharpeners so I can practice my drawing skills. I had picked up a book on drawing technique a while back. It will be something to do while I'm away starting the new job. And I received two Neil Gaiman books. Awesome stuff. Anybody who likes fantasy and/or sci-fi must read some of his stuff. I recommend American Gods or Neverwhere. Or you could try the sampler with Smoke & Mirrors, a collection of short stories.

Ah, yes, the job. The medical check was completed and mailed off last week. As soon as the security check is done (assuming all is ok, and I'm not mistaken for a member of the Necrophiliac Liberation Army or something), they should let me know the start date. Then I can find a place to stay while the real-estate game begins. But at least I'm not worrying about the future and how I'll support myself and the spousal unit. That is the best gift of them all, in my mind.

The relocation thing is my only real worry at this point. I dread packing up and cleaning this place, and going through all the mess of selling it and buying another place, and re-doing the mortgage. Not because I have any particular sentimental attachment to this house (after moving so many times in the past 15 years, that just doesn't happen), but just because it will be a monstrous pain in the ass.

What? Good news? Again?!!

2006-12-20T10:10:00.000-05:00

Al...most.....there........
Yesterday I went to the Atom Mill to fill out some paperwork for security checks, etc, and get the forms for my doctor to fill out for the health check. There was also a conditional offer of employment (pending the security and health things), which I promptly accepted. WOO-HOO!!!! It isn't confirmed yet, but I'd call it 95% done. I have no criminal record, or ties to disreputable types, and I'm in quite good health, despite being overweight. The other job I was up for may still be possible as well, as they were not able to complete the reference check until just 2 days ago. So I'm feeling pretty good today, and it looks like this X-mas will be a happy one.

"If I'm not a safety whatchamajigger, I'm nothing!" -Homer Simpson.

Thought #9478B, section 5

2006-12-14T12:10:00.000-05:00

I was recently enjoying a look through some of my old Calvin & Hobbes books and lamenting Watterson's self-imposed exile. As I recall, one of the reasons he abandoned the whole comic world was the restrictive format required by the newspapers. He hated being force to use x number of panels and such-and-such layout, and the constantantly shrinking size. So he quit after 10 years.
Well, how about this: forget the newspapers entirely, go direct to books. He would be free to use any format he wanted. Strips wouldn't even have to end at one page. How about a huge, multi-page epics? I know I would buy any new C&H books released.
Can't find a publisher? I doubt any publisher would be idiotic enough to pass up this opportunity. Even if they did, thanks to the wonderful modern world of the internet pipes, he could self-publish and market them through Amazon or something similar. I don't see any insurmountable technical problems.

But perhaps he just grew tired of doing it. Maybe it was better to stop while it was still fresh and good. C&H never jumped a shark, and so will be remembered that much more fondly. Always leave them wanting more.

"That was totally wicked!"

2006-12-11T15:17:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I went to see the new James Bond movie, "Casino Royale", with the new guy Daniel Craig. In the past, any time a new Bond actor came along he was often greeted less than enthusiastically. "Well, he's ok, but he's not as good a Connery", is a typically review. I must say that I was impressed. Craig plays Bond very similar to Connery: he's not as slick as Moore or Brosnan, but still has style, and is nastier and colder, just as you would expect from someone who is essentially an assassin. I think Mr. Craig pulled it off brilliantly. He's as good if not better than Connery, but I didn't feel he was trying to copy him. I hope he sticks around the franchise for a while.
As for the movie itself: an excellent Bond film. It had more of the feel of some of the early films, not as flashy/comic-book-like as later ones. There are still gadgets, but nothing implausible. Things like bio-monitor implants, cell phone tracking, cell phone activated bombs which are certainly up to date, but not fantasy items. The action sequences were amazing! I've seen a lot of action movies in my time but this stuff really thrilled my old, jaded self. Some of the stunt work alone is worth the ticket price (the foot chase through the construction site at the beginning has to be seen!).
The women (a Bond film staple) are certainly up to par as well. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
And I must mention the cars. In a nice tip-o'-the-hat to the old films, there is a rather nice 1964 Aston Martin DB5 just like the one in Goldfinger.

But the thing that stirred my lust was the absolutely gorgeous DBS. God, but that is one beautiful car! The sound of it tearing out of a parking lot in one scene actually gave me shivers! They didn't have nearly enough of it for my liking.

No, the film wasn't perfect. There were a couple of slower bits, but these are greatly overshadowed by the rest of the film.
Anyway, if you're a Bond fan or ever have been, SEE THIS MOVIE!

And now the roller coaster goes up again...

2006-12-11T15:10:00.000-05:00

Something is happening! I rec'd an email from ye old atom mill requesting my presence at a 'viable candidate pre-screening'. The way they describe it is basically filling out paperwork for medical and security checks. Well, I'm overweight but otherwise very healthy; and I can't think of any reason for having a security check problem. So it should be no problem. At least it's another step forward.
Now, of the two jobs I applied for there, this is my second choice. But that's ok. It's a job and a new start. And there is room to move up there. I'm ok with that.

I will keep checking for things around here in the meantime, but this takes some of the stress off.

Into the Total Perspective Vortex with you!

2006-12-08T23:04:00.000-05:00

After a depressing post like the last one, sometimes it helps to get a little perspective.

(note: ignore the chair-dancing fat guy)

If this doesn't affect you in some way, you have no soul.

The Downward Spiral

2006-12-08T02:57:00.000-05:00

I think I may be starting to lose my mind. I've joked many times in the past about being a bit crazy, but who hasn't? This time is different.
This started maybe 2 years ago. I was feeling crappy about my job. Often it just seemed overwhelming and hopeless. It didn't help that the new boss was a complete shithead. I was feeling powerless and scared that I would be fired arbitrarily: that was the way management seemed to be acting. It turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Often when these feelings were strongest I'd react by lashing out in anger at stressful situations, though never violently or directly at anyone. Although the boss was the butt of many a half-joking slam.
Things on the home front weren't great either. Money has always been a problem. No matter how much was coming in, it seemed that more was being spent. It was at the point where there was no point in arguing about it. Better to just shut up and live with the fact that we'll always be in debt. Then there was the reproductive stuff. I'd finally got to the point where I felt ready to be a father, when we find out that may be a problem. Then the pregnancy. Then the miscarriage. Hopes go up, slam them down again. This just compounded with the work stuff.
Late last year I'd had a verbal warning because of an angry outburst. All was fine until June when there was another. Then in August someone apparently reported that I'd had a freak-out over missing safety glasses. I had not freaked out. But that didn't seem to matter. I was fired two days later. Of course they never actually told me that this was the reason. You know, I'd seen other employees there with far worse histories of blowing their cool, and nobody ever said boo about it. But they fired me, possibly destroying my career.
I'm not saying my behaviour wasn't wrong, but I don't think you throw someone away for having a few problems.
Anyway, now it's almost 4 months later. I've had a half a dozen interviews in that time and not one job offer. I've got 10 years experience and plenty of relevant skills. What the hell is wrong with me?!
So my mood is up and down, mostly down this week. And I can't sleep. I can't get the whole rotten mess out of my mind. It keeps going around and around. I think of the day it happened, how bad I felt, how stupid I was for losing my cool, how much I hate my ex-boss, how much I miss my old coworkers, and what will happen if I don't find something soon.
I need to get something. Not just for the money, but mostly for my self esteem. I need to feel useful, valuable. Now I just feel like a fucking loser, a screw-up, a waste of oxygen. And all these feelings build on each other. And I have to admit I've been having some pretty dark thoughts lately. I'm not ready to do anything about them yet, but I'm afraid the time may come.
Twelve years ago I was in a similar mess. I'd graduated and couldn't find work. I was forced to sell the house I grew up in, and I was feeling useless and stupid. It seems like everything I've worked so hard for in that time is going to be lost. That just depresses me even more.
I don't know what I'm going to do.
So here I am at 3:25am, writing this because I can't sleep. I really feel like the hairline cracks are starting to appear. I pray to God, Odin, Zeus, Vishnu, Cthulu, or whoever that the nuke plant hires me. They're my only hope at this point. If that falls through, I hate to think how I'll react.
Merry fucking Christmas.

Why is "Human Resources" so evil?

2006-12-06T18:31:00.000-05:00

I think Scott Adams nailed it dead on when he made the evil director of human resources into a cat. HR people seem to like cruelly playing with folk's lives and careers much like a cat plays with a bird or mouse before eviscerating it. I've met damned few of them who didn't strike me as secretive, lying, back-stabbing, and often arbitrary in their dealings with employees. I'm bitter because yesterday I received a FOAD letter (F&%$ Off And Die)from a place I interviewed at a couple of weeks ago. I thought the interview went well and I presented myself well, in spite of being in the middle of the worst cold I've had in the last 5 years. But, no, I get this letter saying "Upon careful consideration of your qualifications and experience, it is with regret that we must notify you that you have not been selected...." bla bla bla. Listen, I've got 10 years experience in just about every aspect of the job that was explained to me. I could do the stinkin' job with both eyes closed and a hedgehog jammed down my pants! Of course they don't provide any potentially useful information about where I was lacking.
Pardon my bitterness. Actually, most places aren't even nice enough to let you know. They just leave you hanging. I'm just upset because the whole job search thing is moving way too slow.
And I'm still waiting to here from the nuclear plant.
Rejection, suspense, and domestic issues are not doing wonders for my moods. I've been pretty good for a while, but yesterday I feel into a deep funk. Spousal unit and I got into a bit of an argument over it. I am really starting to worry about my sanity. I think I have an anxiety problem. (no kidding!)
But, today I went to the gym and did some lifting for the first time in almost 2 months. Currently my brain is swimming in endorphins and I'm pretty mellow.

{attention span expired}

"Well here's your problem!"

2006-12-05T10:54:00.000-05:00

Heard about the Russian ex-spy in England who died from radioactive polonium-210? Maybe the problem was just his choice of restaurants.

Mad Political Ranting

2006-12-02T18:14:00.000-05:00

Oh boy! The Liberal Leadership convention! What excitement! What drama! What a load of crap! This weekend the Liberal party of Canada are having a little get together to pick a new leader, and just about every bloody channel is carrying the whole boring mess non-stop. They seem to think the average Canadian actually give a flying fuck which particular slime-drenched thief is going to be the nominal head of this pack of asses. Ok, so let's assume I'm not typical, and that quite a few folks will actually watch this political daisy chain, complete with reacharounds. So why do we have to have nothing but this drivel?! How many times can the reporters talk about the same meaningless item as if it was the key to survival of the species? "Well, Fred, as we've just heard, Ignatieff is wearing black socks today. What could this mean? Reporter Lester O. Twoevils asks the janitor, since it's 2am and we've asked everyone else..."
Ultimately they're going to pick yet another hyperweasel to steer this dinosaur of a political party. Remember these are the same folks who threw away billions of our tax dollars through incompetence and corruption. Can anyone seriously think the new boss (singing: same as the old boss), will be any different?
Apparently some do. The folks at this stupid thing, who apparently have nothing better to do than engage is this idiotic masturbation, seem to actually believe these leaders are somehow superior to the last batch of parasites! When I see one of these glassy-eyed zealots being interviewed, I can see that he truly believes that Bob Rae, or Michael Ignatieff, or Smedly the Astro-chimp, or whoever, is the new Liberal messiah here to lead the chosen delagates to the promised bla, bla, bla. Am I too cynical, or are these people a bunch of sheep? And guess who's wearing the oversized hip-waders... I can just imagine a bunch of them chanting "Kill the heretic!", and preparing to sacrifice a conservative to the ghost of Trudeau.
Ok, that's enough venom. I'll just go back to grumbling about converage of this thing interrupting my Simpsons reruns.

It's not easy doing nothing.

2006-11-28T11:04:00.000-05:00

Ok, not entirely nothing. I am doing a few chores around the house, trying to improve the state of the place a little. But, I'm getting tired of having no larger tasks. Sure I'm trying to find a decent job, but to be honest that mostly involves waiting. Some folks say, "Enjoy it while you can." Ok, I'm trying to, and sometimes it is nice to take things slow and relaxed, but I really need to get back to work, just for the sense of being useful.
Anywho...the last couple of weeks have been eventful job-search-wise. I had two separate interviews at the atom mill. The first one went well, as previously mentioned, but the second didn't seem so great. Some of the questions showed me that I should have prepare better, studying more of the operations there. Oh well. It didn't help that I was at the height of a particulary nasty cold, and was working hard to not cough up any major organs, or spread too much mucus. The next day I had another interview for a quality engineer job near here. If anything, I was sicker than the day before, but I thought I presented myself well. We shall see in the next week or two what happens.

Things have been a bit tense with the spousal unit of late. She's seriously stressed out about school, her volunteering, work, her sister's ongoing drama and balancing it all. So I'm just trying to keep my head down for the most part when things seem especially dangerous.

"What? Still alive?!"

2006-11-20T11:19:00.000-05:00

Just a quick update on the state of my universe. In spite of my much improved mood of late, I have been totally lacking in energy or ambition thanks to a very nasty cold. This thing has been hanging on for about a week now, and just won't ease up. A couple of days ago I purchased a store brand version of Nyquil with the hope that it would help me sleep through the hacking cough and plegm-flood. The usual cherry flavoured goop usually makes me gag, so I picked up the green stuff instead, figuring it to have a mint taste. Wrong. It turns out that this vile concoction has a strong flavour of anise/black licorice. Goddam but I HATE that flavour! So every night I toss down a shot of this hell-brew and spend the next half hour trying to get the taste out of my mouth. Problem is, every tiny puff of air that manages to crawl up my esophagus carries with it the hideous taint of that foul ichor! It's worse than the illness! However it did seem to be at least a little effective.

I had an interview last Thursday for a job at the ol' atom mill. I thought it went pretty well, but we shall see. I won't hold my breath, as they don't seem to move too fast. I have another interview for a different position there tomorrow.

Spousal unit made up a batch of chocolate cupcake for a thing she went to yesterday, and there were quite a few left over. Unfortunately they are absolutely amazing, and I've been inhaling them a little faster than is good for me.

All for now.

Hello, anybody there? I can hear you breathing.

2006-11-14T17:35:00.000-05:00

I know somebody must look at this thing. The sitemeter says so, and it wouldn't lie to me. So leave a comment, or maybe just money. Let me know who's really there. Make comments, suggestions, even bad puns. I'd like to think that my only hits aren't automated spam-bots.

What are you so damned happy about?

2006-11-14T16:59:00.000-05:00

So, here I am with a nasty cold, the kind that makes you feel like your head is stuffed with fur, occasionally dries that certain spot in your throat to the point of making you cough up stuff you ate as a child, but other than that doesn't feel that bad.
And I am still unemployed. And the car needs an oil change. And I need a haircut. And I haven't played D&D in months. And I want a new computer, and some new games. And the spouse is spending most of her time locked away in her office, presumably working on an essay for her film course, or perhaps plotting my doom! Mwahahahaha!

But for all that, I'm in a great mood! I'm not quite sure why. Perhaps some little gizmo in my skull has malfunctioned and is now pumping endorphins into me full blast. Don't knock it, I guess; it helps to balance the month or two of misery after I was fired.

"Will break atoms for money"
So what have I done lately? Well, I have 2, count-em!, 2 interviews lined up at Mr. Burn's place. One Thursday, and another next Tuesday for 2 different jobs there. For the first one I have to make a 5-minute presentation on nuclear energy. No more details given than that. Ok, no biggie, even though I haven't made a presentation in probably 13 years. But the one next week is what I really want. This is for the job I tested for in September. Gad, but they don't move too fast, do they?
On top of that, I've got an agency presenting my resume to a certain car manufacturer starting with "T", for a seriously big money job. Sure, make the decision to bail on quality even harder! Happiness or money, happiness or money, ummmm?

What else is good? My buddy Roscoe was over Sunday to watch some DVD's and drink some very good beer. I'm currently listening to a podcast of old 80's 'underground' or alternative music. A lot of it is now semi-popular retro stuff, but back then you would never here most of it on regular commercial radio. I remember listening to the local university station back in 81 or 82 and hearing this stuff. Ah, the mighty CHRW, blasting it out with a whopping 50 watts! The sound quality kind of sucks, it sounds like somebody put a mike next to a radio. But the tunes are great.

"Mumbo, perhaps. Jumbo, perhaps not!"
Oh, and I've been reading a book about mindfulness meditation. It's originally a Buddhist thing, but the book I'm reading is about the program used at a major medical center for stress relief, pain, that sort of thing. Pretty cools stuff, actually. I'm surprised how hard it is to do nothing. Try it. Seriously, sit, concentrate on your breathing. Don't do anything else, don't even think of anything else. Your mind will wander, guaranteed. Try doing that for 15 minutes, or 30, or more. It's fucking hard sometimes! But afterward I feel incredibly relaxed and mellow and my head is clear. And it's all legal and doesn't create cravings for junk food! And I don't have to pay anybody! Anyway the book says to do this for 15 minutes a day for a week to start. Well, so far I've worked up to 10 minutes. Gad, if I ever manage 45 minutes, I think I'll have melted by the end!
Well, enough of this feel-good, happy, shiny, peace to the world crap. Time to play a violent video game!

Geek Alert 3: Return of Geek Alert

2006-11-10T20:16:00.000-05:00

So in the mid-90's, we ended up moving away from this old burg for a job, and all the RPG stuff was packed away into storage. No games, no players, no time. Without interested players what's the point? I didn't even bother to look for gamers in the new town. Most of them would be teenagers anyway, and I really didn't have the patience for that brand of immaturity. That went on for around three years, and then I took a job back here in silly London town.
Well, the first year or so here was gameless as well. That is until a friend, M, mentioned that some old friends in his home town, about a 45 minute drive from here, were starting a game of Dungeons and Dragons 3rd edition. Third edition? What's that? Sure, I'd give it a shot. So I went about 3 or 4 times and had in intro to 3ed. I liked it enough to buy the new Players Handbook. Then for a while M couldn't make it. Either the game fell apart, or they just didn't want me there without M. So that was that.
Well, not quite. I let things go for a couple of years until some aquaintances who were more serious gamers asked spousal unit and I if we'd like to join a little game they were having. So myself and spousal unit, M and his wife S, and the hosts P and K got together Friday nights for a few months for gaming. Until other priorities took over. S dropped out, then M. Shortly after P lost interest and that was it.
No that wasn't it! Hell maybe I could run a game. So I picked up the other 2 main rulebooks on eBay and found conversions of some of my old favourite adventures. Then we started at my place with M and S again, and other friends R and D. I ran my campaign for a bit over a year. Progress was slow because often several people couldn't make it. S dropped out entirely. P from before joined in for a while until we switched days to make it more convenient for most. Unfortunately it was less convenient for him. Later M took over running his game until last summer when, again, other needs squashed our plans. And that really was it.
Now I'm looking to start out again, with spousal unit, R & D, and perhaps other folks K & D2. That may last until we have to move again.

On a side note, I still have all of my old, early 80's hardcover books and some of the adventure modules. Unfortunately in the summer after 1st year U, I lent all my low level modules to an old high school friend. I have not heard from him since. Paul, if by some incredible fluke of probability you ever read this, I want them back! It's been 18 years; you should be done with them by now!

Geek Alert Part 2: The Revenge!

2006-11-09T21:43:00.000-05:00

Ok, so there I was in early high school. The ultra nerd/dweeb/geek. The overweight kid who had to wear corduroy pants, played AD&D, and was reasonably good with computers. Yeah, a real chick magnet - Not! Anyway, a small group of gamers congealed at good ol' A.B. Mucus S.S. D&D gave way to MERP or Middle Earth Role Playing, which was a slightly simplified version of the Rolemaster system adapted to Tolkien's world. That was great fun. I still fondly recall my hobbit cuisinart shredding a surprised, seated orc with twin short swords and taking about 10 rounds to do it while the orc sat there stunned, and my elf warrior leaping on the back of a pissed off dragon and riding it while it tried to smash him against the ceiling.
During H.S., I also played games called Battletech, and it's RPG offspring Mechwarrior, about giant robots shooting each other up. I also messed around with the odd other game, like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Blinky the Mole was one of my characters, long before the video game character!), and Car Wars.
One year, about grade 11 I think, all the sillyness about D&D being satanic broke out in the U.S. We actually had a crew from the local TV station come out to do a story on our group! I don't think the story ever ran. I guess when they didn't see any ritual sacrifices of virgins (which would have been just about any member of the group!), they must have figured it wasn't sensational enough.

After high school, it was off to university. In first year I really didn't have time for any serious gaming. But in 1989 or so some folks I knew invited me into their group to play some AD&D and Battletech. That worked for about a year or two, but then the demands of school and other aspects of a social life took over. After graduation while uselessly unemployed, a new group of friends started playing. There was a little D&D, but then we switched over to something new called Shadowrun. Awesome game! Combine D&D fantasy elements with cyberpunk sci-fi. Great fun! My best character was a cyborg killing machine with a very dry sense of humour. After being caught in the middle of a spell that converted an urban area into a natural one he became a vegetarian and was ever after known as the 'cybered-up-vegomatic'. We all found Terminator 2 hilarious, because basically that was the character I had been playing. When Arnold pulls out the minigun from the underground cache and the young John Conner say 'It's definitely you.', I laughed my ass of, because that was my guy! Oh yeah, the character was ironically nicknamed Twitchy.

After finding gainful employment and moving away, my gaming career came to an end... for a while.

More to come in the exiting 3rd episode. Be sure to tune in!

Geek Alert!!!

2006-11-09T09:38:00.000-05:00

Remember Wil Wheaton? You know, the kid who played Wesley Crusher on Star Trek:The Next Generation? The character most people disliked, and the one responsible for the most alcohol imbibed during a Star Trek drinking game (someone says 'shut up Wesley', you must finish your drink!). Well, it turns out Mr. Wheaton was a victim of bad screenwriting. It seems that in real life he is actually a real hoopy frood (and if you don't understand that, you're not a real geek). The spousal unit clued me in to his blog a while back but recently I've been reading it more. Check it out here: http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/
He's also written a couple of books, and I've had a chance to read a bit of one. He's actually a pretty decent writer. Quite entertaining stuff. Anyway, check out his site.

The reason I'm bringing this up is because his latest entry is about his introduction to Role Playing Games (RPG's), and Dungeons and Dragons in particular. It got me thinking about my start in the big bad world of gaming, way back in the early 80's....

It was back around 1981 or 82, and I hadn't quite started high school.
My first intro to D&D had been by my cousin L and her then husband. One evening I had stopped off at their place while a game was going on. I was given a very terse explanation (after all, I was just a dumb kid), and afterward I thought nothing more about it.
There weren't a lot of kids my age on my street, so I spent a fair bit of time by myself, drawing, reading, playing with Lego, making up my own games. One game I made up involved a side view of a tomb/dungeon/tunnel complex populated by skeletons, zombies, and treasure. This was before I knew much about D&D, and it was actually inspired by Raiders of the Lost Ark. Well, one of the few friends in the neighbourhood saw this one day and commented that it was a lot like D&D. He had just started playing with the old red-box Basic D&D set and offered to show me how to play. Over several weeks we played through good ol' B2:Keep on the Borderlands, one of the classic adventure modules that old time gamers look back on with great affection. I vaugely remember I had a fighter character -I can't remember the name- who achieved the lofty height of 3rd level, which was the highest that the Basic Set supported. A while later my friend purchased the 'Expert Set', which expanded the game, allowing players to rise to 6th level, I think it was.
Guess what! I was hooked. I ended up getting my own copies of both basic D&D sets, trying to write a module or two, that sort of thing. Then high school started. I don't remember exactly how it happened, but it turned out one of my new high school friends played something called Advanced D&D. I admit I was slightly intimidated: if it's called advanced, it must be more difficult. Well, I ended up in a session or three with a school gaming group, most a bunch of older kids. I mostly remember one adventure that the DM had blatantly stolen from an Elric story (a series of fantasy books by Michael Moorcock), but I didn't realize this until I actually read the story a couple of years later. By this time the cousin unit, L, had heard that I was playing D&D, and at Christmas 1982 she gave me one the coolest presents I've ever received: The AD&D Players Handbook. You know the one, with the two thieves working to pry the gem eye out a big demon idol. Awesome! That X-mas I was also given a pretty sizable wad of cash. I guess most folks had no idea what I was into, as I was quite an introvert around home. Sweet! Well, during my week off from school between Christmas and New Year, I took my new wealth to the local hobby store and purchased all the AD&D books then available: the Dungeon Master's Guide, Monster Manual, Fiend Folio, and Deities and Demigods (yes, the early edition with Cthulu, Elric, and Ffard!). I was into this game in a big way.
Face it, this was pure escapism for me, and I needed it. I was basically a lonely kid with a single parent who was dealing with some extremely tough health issues, and grandparents -well meaning as they were- who seemed to have no idea how to relate to me. With this game I was off into a more exciting world. And it introduced me to many new friends over the years.

To be continued...

I spoke too soon. So now what do I do?

2006-10-31T12:33:00.000-05:00

Wouldn't you know it, yesterday I mentioned that it had been 5 weeks since the nuclear plant test and I figured I'd never hear from them again, and just half and hour ago they called me. They let me know I'd passed the test, and wanted to do a behavioural interview on the phone. Right now. Ok with me. So they asked a bunch of questions looking for examples of how I had handled various situations. I hate these kinds of questions. The situations are either something that happened so often that nothing specific came to mind, or something that never happened, or simply something that I could not remember. Well, I answered the best I could on short notice. If I passed this interview, the next step is what they call a technical interview. That is supposed to happen sometime in November.
And this brings me to a dilemma: what do I do if something else comes along in the meantime? Do I pass it up on the hope that I'll continue to be acceptable to the nuke plant? Or do I go for the 'bird in the hand', even though it may not be what I prefer to do.

I think I need chocolate to help me ponder this. Wax the brain to make it go faster.

Still here. Still (mostly) sane.

2006-10-30T20:07:00.000-05:00

Not much happening around these parts. I'm doing my best to fight off depression and enjoy this time as much as possible. But the fact is I have a lingering fear that's always in the background. Sometimes it fades for a while, but it's always there.

It's been 5 weeks since I wrote the test for the nuclear plant (that's nuc-u-lar for a certain tool south of the border). I don't hold much hope that they'll call me for an interview, even though the status shown on their site still says "in-progress".

I had an interview for a place here in town. I would be doing basically the same job I'd been doing for the past 9 or so years, but at least I wouldn't have to move. I think it went ok, not great, but ok. Apparently I'm one of 6 interviewees picked from 50 applications, and this will be trimmed down to 2 to be grilled by the QA manager. If I don't hear back by the end of the week, I can forget that one as well.
I have another interview scheduled for Thursday in Toronto. I don't really want to work in Toronto, but a job is a job. I hate big cities. Other than these 2, I've had a few calls from headhunters, but nothing more concrete than that. Sigh.

The spousal unit has dragged me into something called NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. The idea is to write a 50000 word novel in the 30 days of November. At least it will keep me busy. I want to expand something very strange I wrote way back in high school. If only I can find where I put it...

We went to a Halloween type party thing last night on somewhat short notice. I was enjoying it, but after about 2 hours Spousal unit's stamina gave out and we had to leave. Too bad. Lots of amusing people, good food, and watching silly movies. We had watched Army of Darkness and were just starting Young Frankenstein when we left. Bah.

Thought of the day.

2006-10-21T13:45:00.000-04:00

Spotted in a forum somewhere:

"There may be no 'I' in team, but there is a 'U' in suck!"

This is my kind of sport!

2006-10-20T21:41:00.000-04:00

This is from Top Gear, one of my favourite shows.

http://www.glumbert.com/media/carshoot

Wouldn't that relieve some stress.

At least it would be quieter...

2006-10-19T10:25:00.000-04:00

I've always said this would be a nice planet if not for all the damn people.

http://www.newscientist.com/channel/earth/mg19225731.100-imagine-earth-without-people.html

The first day of the rest of my life...

2006-10-16T13:42:00.000-04:00

Ok, here it is the first full day of what I'm considering a new chapter of life, or at least a (hopefully) short intermission between chapters. Today's goal is to maintain the positive attitude I forced myself into yesterday. So far, so good.
So I slept late, simply because we were up late last night with R&D watching the last 2 X-men movies. I hadn't yet seen #3, and D hadn't seen #2 either. I enjoyed #3 but didn't consider it quite as good as the other two. I can't say whether that's because of a different director, or the writing, or what.
Shortly after getting up, I dragged my groggy carcass to the car to drive Spousal-Unit to her volunteer thing at the local cable company. Then it was home for a quick shower to clean up and wake up, and back to the mall to figure out what's wrong with our new cell phones. That was cleared up quickly and painlessly, and it was off to return the X-Men3. Home again, some leftover pizza for lunch with a side order of channel surfing, and then to job hunting.
I must have about 30 or 40 bookmarks for agencies, search sites, and individual companies. I surfed through about half of these for new stuff and sent out 4 more applications/resumes. I'm not sure but I think things may be starting to pick up a bit. Perhaps now that we're into 4th quarter or something.
Now to play around a bit, maybe clean the kitchen a little. Pretty mundane and boring stuff, I know. But, so far, I seem to be keeping myself sane.

Bah! To hell with this!

2006-10-15T18:41:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow will be the 2 month anniversary of me being fired. I hereby declare the period of mourning to be over. After considering how useless it is to be depressed and miserable all the time, and after a much needed boot in the posterior from the spousal unit, I am done with that crap. This post will be to tie off a few loose ends regarding this mess, and clear them out of my skull.
1. Yes, I did fuck up slightly. In no way do I believe it justified termination, but there is nothing I can do about it now. All I can do is learn from it and move on.
2. I will not volunteer any theories about why I was fired during future interviews. I did this once in the foolish belief that it is better to be honest. I strongly suspect that this resulting in me not being selected. Apparently honesty is not something that many HR managers appreciate.
3. My former employer (at least the individuals who made the decision) made a mistake. They threw away a skilled employee unnecessarily. Well FUCK THEM!!!, to be vulgar about it. Funny how this stuff never came up with the former manager I reported to. Bunch of boneheads.
4. The last 2 years with my former boss (often referred to as Napoleon by some former co-workers), have been mostly miserable. Very possibly I would have left voluntarily at some point anyway. The man has the personality of wet cardboard, but with the ego of Donald Trump, and the skills of damp dishrag. I can only hope that someday soon his bosses realize how truly ignorant he is, and that he is entirely dependent on his underlings. Look at it this way, before he came along our department lost 1 person in 5 years, after he took over we lost 5 in 2 years. I wish him much misery in future.

So that's it. That is a closed chapter. I'll continue to search for something else, start cleaning the house and packing in anticipation of having to sell and move, and hope for word from a certain particular place. I want to work at that place where I tested for 3 weeks ago. I want to leave the automotive industry, quality assurance, and maybe engineering in general. That is how bad the aftertaste is that I've been left with.
In the meantime, I'll go to the gym more to try to pack on some muscle and trim some flab; I'll play some games, write some blog entries, and try to be more pleasant to be around than I have been for the last 2 months.

Gone mad, back in 15 minutes.

2006-10-04T19:42:00.000-04:00

Well, still no job. Not even a phone call. I called a few of the headhunters yesterday just to remind them that I'm still here. Basically, they're all saying that the job market is off this fall. Normally things pick up after Labour Day, but not this year so far. Just my farking luck. I've been applying to things here and there as they pop up, but it's just a trickle of opportunities, and I've yet to hear back on any of them. I suppose all the fun with Ford's and GM's financial problems are affecting the automotive job market, but the coming Toyota plant should offset some of that. One agent mentioned that the high Canadian dollar has affected many companies profit margins, and one of the first places they cut is new hiring. Understandable, but it won't pay my bills.

Some folks have been trying to tell me to relax and enjoy the time off. You have got to be kidding! If there was a definite time limit to this and I knew I'd have gainful employment at the end, then perhaps I could relax, but this uncertainty is driving me insane! My moods tend to swing anyway, but this is starting to border on manic-depression. There have been times lately when I have actually felt cracks forming in the old mental concrete.

The worst times are at night when I'm trying to get to sleep. That's when the doubts and fears start flowing in a full torrent. What if I can't find anything? Will we lose the house? Will we end up homeless? Will we lose everything we've managed to gain in the last 12 years? Of course in the rational light-of-day I realize things probably won't be that bad, but there are times I can't stop the scenarios of failure running roughshod through my frontal lobes. They've even gone to the point where I've imagined myself freezing to death out on the street some coming winter.

I've been trying to cope by medicating myself with chocolate (my main vice), going to the gym and exercising myself senseless, vegging in front of the tube, or playing computer games (the least effective). I've started studying programming in Python in order to keep my mind active. The weekly outings with friends is a huge help too.

Here's hoping I can keep my marbles together until I find something. In the meantime, perhaps I'll listen to some Goon Shows so at least I won't be afraid of the insanity.

(For those not aware of the joys of Goonery: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goon_Show )

Another day, another thought.

2006-09-27T18:06:00.000-04:00

"This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you." -C. Montgomery Burns

Hmmm...seems to be a theme starting here. Not intentional. I just find Burns hilarious. Actually, as one of my former co-workers pointed out, the funniest Simpsons characters are the elderly ones: Burns, Abe, Jasper, etc. I especially love Abe's rants or rambling stories. Maybe I'll post one later.

Thought of the day.

2006-09-26T16:42:00.000-04:00

"The best argument against democracy is a five minute chat with the average voter" -- Winston Churchill"

Stolen from the Witty Quotes Haven.

http://www.witty-quotes.com/index.html

Testing

2006-09-25T12:54:00.000-04:00

Well, this morning I took a series of tests as part of an evaluation for a job. There were 5 timed tests and 2 untimed questionaires. The timed ones were on stuff relating to comprehension of instructions, basic math, visualization and mechanical aptitude. I didn't find the questions hard, but the time factor was a problem. I missed a couple of questions on one test and rushed a couple of guesses on another one. On the rest I had barely enough time. Usually I'm fairly quick with that kind of stuff, so I can only guess that the other candidates had similar problems.
Of course I'll only hear back from them if I've done well enough to go to the interview stage. And I'm sure things won't move too quickly even then.
I would love to get this job. It's very different from what I've been doing the last 10 years, which I am now sick of. Getting fired from the last one didn't exactly leave the best aftertaste, either. It would mean a drastic pay cut and relocation, but at least I could enjoy the work. The job is located in a wonderful area, and eventually the pay would catch up.
I feel like it's time for a new start.

In the meantime, the search goes on. Which mostly means checking various web sites and waiting.

Crapulent Part 2.

2006-09-21T11:05:00.000-04:00

So here I am unemployed and feeling useless. The day after I was canned, I started searching for something else. The thing is, with my sort of job, you can't just go door-to-door passing out resumes. Most companies don't accept those anymore. Most use agencies or "headhunters" to find people for them. They let someone else take care of the flood of applications and initial screening. So I've bombarded about 2 dozen headhunters, by registering or just e-mailing a resume, whatever their setup is. A few have called me, and I've met personally with some of them, but I have yet to have an actual interview with an employer this way.
I have had one interview, but it was with a company I had met with before. But they havn't called me back, and they won't return my calls or e-mails, so I guess they're not interested. I'm guessing they want somebody with less experience and presumably cheaper.
Next week I have a meeting/testing session with a large non-automotive employer. I won't say more than that at this time. The job is nothing like what I've been doing, pays significantly less, and would require relocating. Why would I want something like that? Well, I think I just might be happy doing it. And eventually the pay would catch up. And there is potential for advancement. I think it might be time to get out of the automotive industry anyway: I'm sick of the stress and bullshit.
But overall, pickins have been mighty slim. I know that financially I'm ok for a while, but the big problem is fighting off depression.
All for now.

Crapulent.

2006-09-15T20:29:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I know, as usual I haven't done anything in a very long time. Just apathy I guess. But now I have plenty of time. See, about a month ago I was fired from my job of 7.5 years. Total shock. Didn't see it coming. They wouldn't even tell me why. I have a suspicicion, but even if I'm right it was for something I didn't actually do, and I don't think it justified firing even if I did. For the past 4 weeks I've had almost nothing else running through my head, often to the point of insomnia. I feel betrayed.
Now, it's not all bad. The fact is, I wasn't totally happy working there it I suppose it showed. I have nothing but contempt for my former manager. How someone like that could rise to the level of manager or director amazes me. I can only assume much oral contact with butt cheeks was involved. The blunt fact is that the man does not understand what he is managing. How can you be a quality manager without at least minor knowledge of metrology, statistics, or basic manufacturing processes. He is an arrogant little toad of a man. Hell, I could go on for hours.
The problem was, I resented reporting to this ignorant twit. I'm reminded of the line in the Police tune Synchonicity 2, "...every single meeting with his so-called superior is a humiliating kick in the crotch."
Now I won't claim I was the perfect employee either, but looking back I can see that my attitude was more effect than cause. My error was in letting it get to me, and letting my frustration build up. Another hard life-lesson learned I suppose. At least the buy-out package (i.e. don't-sue-us package) was good. I still get paid for several more months.
My ex co-workers have been good about it. I've met with them a couple of times over lunch, and they've been supportive, sorry about what happened sort of thing. And they are the ones I'll miss most. I didn't care for the job, or most managers (some were good, even great), but many of the people I worked with made things tolerable or even fun. They know who they are.
Still, I feel like shit much of the time.
More to come in episode 2.

Well-adjusted supervillians.

2006-06-07T20:36:00.000-04:00

I think it was back in the sixties when some twit came up with something called "Primal Scream Therapy". The basic idea is to holler at the top of your lungs and that this relieves stress. It does feel good; sometimes I'll do it in my car, just for fun.
But I have a better altenative: Maniacal Laughter Therapy. Rather than screeching like some nutjob, let loose with a good evil laugh! Imagine your orbital death ray is poised to wipe out the entire population of Peoria if you don't receive 82 tons of blue, peanut M&M's by the time you finish blowing your nose. Get drunk on the imaginary power! Let fly with a solid "Mwa-hahahahaha!" type of thing. Get creative. It feels great.
And don't forget the psychotic grin for the sake of those around you.

Enjoy!

What?! Two in the same year?! IS HE MAD!?

2006-06-01T20:23:00.000-04:00

The spousal unit has tagged me with a sort of meme thingy. So, here goes a bunch of fours.

Four jobs I've had in my life: Security Gaurd, Taxi driver (Are you talkin' to me?), Process Engineer, Quality Engineer.

Four movies I would watch over and over: Aliens, Star Wars IV (Han shot first!), Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Incredibles.

Four places I have lived: London, St. Catharines, Newmarket, CFB Gagetown (but not for very long).

Four TV shows I love to watch: Mythbusters, Family Guy, Futurama, Stargate Atlantis.

Four places I have been: Toluca Mexico, Denver, Brownsville Texas, Disneyworld.

Four websites I visit daily: Slashdot, Dilbert, Hardgainer, Adrenaline Vault.

Four of my favorite foods: M&Ms (except the crunchy ones in the blue bag), shrimp, Spousal Unit's risotto (seafood or chicken), and lately Miss Vickie's jalapeno potato chips.

Four places I would rather be right now: New Zealand (looks like an amazing place), on a quiet beach somewhere (not too far from civilization, but not too close either), the house I grew up in, in a cozy pub with a group of good friends.

Four Friends that have been tagged that I think will respond: The only folks I know who blog have already done this thing, or won't.

There! Happy now?

2006-06-01T17:27:00.000-04:00

Useless invention #1:
Ingredients: 1 escalator, one laser or ultrasound ranging device, on programmable logic controller (PLC) (if not already part of escalator), and one slinky. This also assumes that fine speed control is possible on the escalator.
Basically, setup and program the laser or whatever to detect the position of the slinky and feed this measurement to the PLC which then adjusts the escalator's speed to maintain the slinky in one location. The slinky keeps going downstairs, but never gets anywhere.

Hours of useless fun.

Which reminds me, some people are like slinkys. They aren't really good for anything, but they're fun to push down the stairs.

VACATION!

2005-08-30T14:15:00.000-04:00

That's right, this week I don't have to go to work! I'm not doing anything interesting like going somewhere, simply because we don't have the money. But that's OK. Any time away from work is good. Let me explain why:
1. The job. My title is "Quality Engineer". This really translates to "scapegoat", or "whipping boy". I'm the guy the customer calls when they have a complaint, so I represent the bad side of the supplier when they deal with us. I'm also the guy who has to lead the unwilling rabble of co-workers (cow-orkers, for the Dilbert literate) known as the 'team' into fixing the problem that resulted in the complaint. In addition to external bitching, I also have to deal with all the internal crap, which leads us to...
2. ...whining production people complaining about being asked to do some actual work. "Why should I have to walk 3 whole feet to pick up that gauge? I won't do it!" We actually had someone assigned to sort some parts for defects. And he did, and put both the good and bad parts in the same box because he hadn't been told to separate them! Well, I didn't tell you to breathe either, so I guess you should stop, numbnuts! And the boneheaded hourly dolts are lead by...
3. ...the supervisors who I wouldn't trust to have their legs bend the right way. Their philosophy is 'I'll do what I want and claim that's what I was told to do.' Note that we have a documented, sufficiently detailed log of what needs to be done, they just choose to ignore it.
4. Then there's management. Just read Dilbert. I firmly believe we have certain managers who believe Dilbert is manager training in comic form. But topping all of this is my boss...
5. The boss. Also known as Napoleon, Fearless Leading (with dripping sarcasm), or occasionally 'Useless, paper-pushing, bureaucratic bastard!'. I'll go into more detail on this little pile of jellyfish waste in a future post.
So you see, any time away from this condensed wad of career-doubt is good.

This week give me time to sleep in (as opposed to 6am wakeup, 11 pm sleep), go to the gym more, study for the CQT (certified quality tech) exam, waste time on computer games, and just generally slob about. Oh, and finally start writing my blog.

Thus expires my current attention span.

Just starting this stupid thing.

2005-08-18T00:23:00.000-04:00

Don't expect much yet. I'm still figuring out this blog thing. Besides, I'm tired and don't wish to share any ideas right now. So there!