Gone mad, back in 15 minutes.

Well, still no job. Not even a phone call. I called a few of the headhunters yesterday just to remind them that I'm still here. Basically, they're all saying that the job market is off this fall. Normally things pick up after Labour Day, but not this year so far. Just my farking luck. I've been applying to things here and there as they pop up, but it's just a trickle of opportunities, and I've yet to hear back on any of them. I suppose all the fun with Ford's and GM's financial problems are affecting the automotive job market, but the coming Toyota plant should offset some of that. One agent mentioned that the high Canadian dollar has affected many companies profit margins, and one of the first places they cut is new hiring. Understandable, but it won't pay my bills.

Some folks have been trying to tell me to relax and enjoy the time off. You have got to be kidding! If there was a definite time limit to this and I knew I'd have gainful employment at the end, then perhaps I could relax, but this uncertainty is driving me insane! My moods tend to swing anyway, but this is starting to border on manic-depression. There have been times lately when I have actually felt cracks forming in the old mental concrete.

The worst times are at night when I'm trying to get to sleep. That's when the doubts and fears start flowing in a full torrent. What if I can't find anything? Will we lose the house? Will we end up homeless? Will we lose everything we've managed to gain in the last 12 years? Of course in the rational light-of-day I realize things probably won't be that bad, but there are times I can't stop the scenarios of failure running roughshod through my frontal lobes. They've even gone to the point where I've imagined myself freezing to death out on the street some coming winter.

I've been trying to cope by medicating myself with chocolate (my main vice), going to the gym and exercising myself senseless, vegging in front of the tube, or playing computer games (the least effective). I've started studying programming in Python in order to keep my mind active. The weekly outings with friends is a huge help too.

Here's hoping I can keep my marbles together until I find something. In the meantime, perhaps I'll listen to some Goon Shows so at least I won't be afraid of the insanity.

(For those not aware of the joys of Goonery: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goon_Show )