I spoke too soon. So now what do I do?

Wouldn't you know it, yesterday I mentioned that it had been 5 weeks since the nuclear plant test and I figured I'd never hear from them again, and just half and hour ago they called me. They let me know I'd passed the test, and wanted to do a behavioural interview on the phone. Right now. Ok with me. So they asked a bunch of questions looking for examples of how I had handled various situations. I hate these kinds of questions. The situations are either something that happened so often that nothing specific came to mind, or something that never happened, or simply something that I could not remember. Well, I answered the best I could on short notice. If I passed this interview, the next step is what they call a technical interview. That is supposed to happen sometime in November.
And this brings me to a dilemma: what do I do if something else comes along in the meantime? Do I pass it up on the hope that I'll continue to be acceptable to the nuke plant? Or do I go for the 'bird in the hand', even though it may not be what I prefer to do.

I think I need chocolate to help me ponder this. Wax the brain to make it go faster.

Still here. Still (mostly) sane.

Not much happening around these parts. I'm doing my best to fight off depression and enjoy this time as much as possible. But the fact is I have a lingering fear that's always in the background. Sometimes it fades for a while, but it's always there.

It's been 5 weeks since I wrote the test for the nuclear plant (that's nuc-u-lar for a certain tool south of the border). I don't hold much hope that they'll call me for an interview, even though the status shown on their site still says "in-progress".

I had an interview for a place here in town. I would be doing basically the same job I'd been doing for the past 9 or so years, but at least I wouldn't have to move. I think it went ok, not great, but ok. Apparently I'm one of 6 interviewees picked from 50 applications, and this will be trimmed down to 2 to be grilled by the QA manager. If I don't hear back by the end of the week, I can forget that one as well.
I have another interview scheduled for Thursday in Toronto. I don't really want to work in Toronto, but a job is a job. I hate big cities. Other than these 2, I've had a few calls from headhunters, but nothing more concrete than that. Sigh.

The spousal unit has dragged me into something called NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. The idea is to write a 50000 word novel in the 30 days of November. At least it will keep me busy. I want to expand something very strange I wrote way back in high school. If only I can find where I put it...

We went to a Halloween type party thing last night on somewhat short notice. I was enjoying it, but after about 2 hours Spousal unit's stamina gave out and we had to leave. Too bad. Lots of amusing people, good food, and watching silly movies. We had watched Army of Darkness and were just starting Young Frankenstein when we left. Bah.

Thought of the day.

Spotted in a forum somewhere:

"There may be no 'I' in team, but there is a 'U' in suck!"

This is my kind of sport!

This is from Top Gear, one of my favourite shows.

http://www.glumbert.com/media/carshoot

Wouldn't that relieve some stress.

At least it would be quieter...

I've always said this would be a nice planet if not for all the damn people.

http://www.newscientist.com/channel/earth/mg19225731.100-imagine-earth-without-people.html

The first day of the rest of my life...

Ok, here it is the first full day of what I'm considering a new chapter of life, or at least a (hopefully) short intermission between chapters. Today's goal is to maintain the positive attitude I forced myself into yesterday. So far, so good.
So I slept late, simply because we were up late last night with R&D watching the last 2 X-men movies. I hadn't yet seen #3, and D hadn't seen #2 either. I enjoyed #3 but didn't consider it quite as good as the other two. I can't say whether that's because of a different director, or the writing, or what.
Shortly after getting up, I dragged my groggy carcass to the car to drive Spousal-Unit to her volunteer thing at the local cable company. Then it was home for a quick shower to clean up and wake up, and back to the mall to figure out what's wrong with our new cell phones. That was cleared up quickly and painlessly, and it was off to return the X-Men3. Home again, some leftover pizza for lunch with a side order of channel surfing, and then to job hunting.
I must have about 30 or 40 bookmarks for agencies, search sites, and individual companies. I surfed through about half of these for new stuff and sent out 4 more applications/resumes. I'm not sure but I think things may be starting to pick up a bit. Perhaps now that we're into 4th quarter or something.
Now to play around a bit, maybe clean the kitchen a little. Pretty mundane and boring stuff, I know. But, so far, I seem to be keeping myself sane.

Bah! To hell with this!

Tomorrow will be the 2 month anniversary of me being fired. I hereby declare the period of mourning to be over. After considering how useless it is to be depressed and miserable all the time, and after a much needed boot in the posterior from the spousal unit, I am done with that crap. This post will be to tie off a few loose ends regarding this mess, and clear them out of my skull.
1. Yes, I did fuck up slightly. In no way do I believe it justified termination, but there is nothing I can do about it now. All I can do is learn from it and move on.
2. I will not volunteer any theories about why I was fired during future interviews. I did this once in the foolish belief that it is better to be honest. I strongly suspect that this resulting in me not being selected. Apparently honesty is not something that many HR managers appreciate.
3. My former employer (at least the individuals who made the decision) made a mistake. They threw away a skilled employee unnecessarily. Well FUCK THEM!!!, to be vulgar about it. Funny how this stuff never came up with the former manager I reported to. Bunch of boneheads.
4. The last 2 years with my former boss (often referred to as Napoleon by some former co-workers), have been mostly miserable. Very possibly I would have left voluntarily at some point anyway. The man has the personality of wet cardboard, but with the ego of Donald Trump, and the skills of damp dishrag. I can only hope that someday soon his bosses realize how truly ignorant he is, and that he is entirely dependent on his underlings. Look at it this way, before he came along our department lost 1 person in 5 years, after he took over we lost 5 in 2 years. I wish him much misery in future.

So that's it. That is a closed chapter. I'll continue to search for something else, start cleaning the house and packing in anticipation of having to sell and move, and hope for word from a certain particular place. I want to work at that place where I tested for 3 weeks ago. I want to leave the automotive industry, quality assurance, and maybe engineering in general. That is how bad the aftertaste is that I've been left with.
In the meantime, I'll go to the gym more to try to pack on some muscle and trim some flab; I'll play some games, write some blog entries, and try to be more pleasant to be around than I have been for the last 2 months.

Gone mad, back in 15 minutes.

Well, still no job. Not even a phone call. I called a few of the headhunters yesterday just to remind them that I'm still here. Basically, they're all saying that the job market is off this fall. Normally things pick up after Labour Day, but not this year so far. Just my farking luck. I've been applying to things here and there as they pop up, but it's just a trickle of opportunities, and I've yet to hear back on any of them. I suppose all the fun with Ford's and GM's financial problems are affecting the automotive job market, but the coming Toyota plant should offset some of that. One agent mentioned that the high Canadian dollar has affected many companies profit margins, and one of the first places they cut is new hiring. Understandable, but it won't pay my bills.

Some folks have been trying to tell me to relax and enjoy the time off. You have got to be kidding! If there was a definite time limit to this and I knew I'd have gainful employment at the end, then perhaps I could relax, but this uncertainty is driving me insane! My moods tend to swing anyway, but this is starting to border on manic-depression. There have been times lately when I have actually felt cracks forming in the old mental concrete.

The worst times are at night when I'm trying to get to sleep. That's when the doubts and fears start flowing in a full torrent. What if I can't find anything? Will we lose the house? Will we end up homeless? Will we lose everything we've managed to gain in the last 12 years? Of course in the rational light-of-day I realize things probably won't be that bad, but there are times I can't stop the scenarios of failure running roughshod through my frontal lobes. They've even gone to the point where I've imagined myself freezing to death out on the street some coming winter.

I've been trying to cope by medicating myself with chocolate (my main vice), going to the gym and exercising myself senseless, vegging in front of the tube, or playing computer games (the least effective). I've started studying programming in Python in order to keep my mind active. The weekly outings with friends is a huge help too.

Here's hoping I can keep my marbles together until I find something. In the meantime, perhaps I'll listen to some Goon Shows so at least I won't be afraid of the insanity.

(For those not aware of the joys of Goonery: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goon_Show )

Another day, another thought.

"This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you." -C. Montgomery Burns

Hmmm...seems to be a theme starting here. Not intentional. I just find Burns hilarious. Actually, as one of my former co-workers pointed out, the funniest Simpsons characters are the elderly ones: Burns, Abe, Jasper, etc. I especially love Abe's rants or rambling stories. Maybe I'll post one later.

Thought of the day.

"The best argument against democracy is a five minute chat with the average voter" -- Winston Churchill"

Stolen from the Witty Quotes Haven.

http://www.witty-quotes.com/index.html

Testing

Well, this morning I took a series of tests as part of an evaluation for a job. There were 5 timed tests and 2 untimed questionaires. The timed ones were on stuff relating to comprehension of instructions, basic math, visualization and mechanical aptitude. I didn't find the questions hard, but the time factor was a problem. I missed a couple of questions on one test and rushed a couple of guesses on another one. On the rest I had barely enough time. Usually I'm fairly quick with that kind of stuff, so I can only guess that the other candidates had similar problems.
Of course I'll only hear back from them if I've done well enough to go to the interview stage. And I'm sure things won't move too quickly even then.
I would love to get this job. It's very different from what I've been doing the last 10 years, which I am now sick of. Getting fired from the last one didn't exactly leave the best aftertaste, either. It would mean a drastic pay cut and relocation, but at least I could enjoy the work. The job is located in a wonderful area, and eventually the pay would catch up.
I feel like it's time for a new start.

In the meantime, the search goes on. Which mostly means checking various web sites and waiting.

Crapulent Part 2.

So here I am unemployed and feeling useless. The day after I was canned, I started searching for something else. The thing is, with my sort of job, you can't just go door-to-door passing out resumes. Most companies don't accept those anymore. Most use agencies or "headhunters" to find people for them. They let someone else take care of the flood of applications and initial screening. So I've bombarded about 2 dozen headhunters, by registering or just e-mailing a resume, whatever their setup is. A few have called me, and I've met personally with some of them, but I have yet to have an actual interview with an employer this way.
I have had one interview, but it was with a company I had met with before. But they havn't called me back, and they won't return my calls or e-mails, so I guess they're not interested. I'm guessing they want somebody with less experience and presumably cheaper.
Next week I have a meeting/testing session with a large non-automotive employer. I won't say more than that at this time. The job is nothing like what I've been doing, pays significantly less, and would require relocating. Why would I want something like that? Well, I think I just might be happy doing it. And eventually the pay would catch up. And there is potential for advancement. I think it might be time to get out of the automotive industry anyway: I'm sick of the stress and bullshit.
But overall, pickins have been mighty slim. I know that financially I'm ok for a while, but the big problem is fighting off depression.
All for now.

Crapulent.

Yeah, I know, as usual I haven't done anything in a very long time. Just apathy I guess. But now I have plenty of time. See, about a month ago I was fired from my job of 7.5 years. Total shock. Didn't see it coming. They wouldn't even tell me why. I have a suspicicion, but even if I'm right it was for something I didn't actually do, and I don't think it justified firing even if I did. For the past 4 weeks I've had almost nothing else running through my head, often to the point of insomnia. I feel betrayed.
Now, it's not all bad. The fact is, I wasn't totally happy working there it I suppose it showed. I have nothing but contempt for my former manager. How someone like that could rise to the level of manager or director amazes me. I can only assume much oral contact with butt cheeks was involved. The blunt fact is that the man does not understand what he is managing. How can you be a quality manager without at least minor knowledge of metrology, statistics, or basic manufacturing processes. He is an arrogant little toad of a man. Hell, I could go on for hours.
The problem was, I resented reporting to this ignorant twit. I'm reminded of the line in the Police tune Synchonicity 2, "...every single meeting with his so-called superior is a humiliating kick in the crotch."
Now I won't claim I was the perfect employee either, but looking back I can see that my attitude was more effect than cause. My error was in letting it get to me, and letting my frustration build up. Another hard life-lesson learned I suppose. At least the buy-out package (i.e. don't-sue-us package) was good. I still get paid for several more months.
My ex co-workers have been good about it. I've met with them a couple of times over lunch, and they've been supportive, sorry about what happened sort of thing. And they are the ones I'll miss most. I didn't care for the job, or most managers (some were good, even great), but many of the people I worked with made things tolerable or even fun. They know who they are.
Still, I feel like shit much of the time.
More to come in episode 2.

Well-adjusted supervillians.

I think it was back in the sixties when some twit came up with something called "Primal Scream Therapy". The basic idea is to holler at the top of your lungs and that this relieves stress. It does feel good; sometimes I'll do it in my car, just for fun.
But I have a better altenative: Maniacal Laughter Therapy. Rather than screeching like some nutjob, let loose with a good evil laugh! Imagine your orbital death ray is poised to wipe out the entire population of Peoria if you don't receive 82 tons of blue, peanut M&M's by the time you finish blowing your nose. Get drunk on the imaginary power! Let fly with a solid "Mwa-hahahahaha!" type of thing. Get creative. It feels great.
And don't forget the psychotic grin for the sake of those around you.

Enjoy!

What?! Two in the same year?! IS HE MAD!?

The spousal unit has tagged me with a sort of meme thingy. So, here goes a bunch of fours.

Four jobs I've had in my life: Security Gaurd, Taxi driver (Are you talkin' to me?), Process Engineer, Quality Engineer.

Four movies I would watch over and over: Aliens, Star Wars IV (Han shot first!), Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Incredibles.

Four places I have lived: London, St. Catharines, Newmarket, CFB Gagetown (but not for very long).

Four TV shows I love to watch: Mythbusters, Family Guy, Futurama, Stargate Atlantis.

Four places I have been: Toluca Mexico, Denver, Brownsville Texas, Disneyworld.

Four websites I visit daily: Slashdot, Dilbert, Hardgainer, Adrenaline Vault.

Four of my favorite foods: M&Ms (except the crunchy ones in the blue bag), shrimp, Spousal Unit's risotto (seafood or chicken), and lately Miss Vickie's jalapeno potato chips.

Four places I would rather be right now: New Zealand (looks like an amazing place), on a quiet beach somewhere (not too far from civilization, but not too close either), the house I grew up in, in a cozy pub with a group of good friends.

Four Friends that have been tagged that I think will respond: The only folks I know who blog have already done this thing, or won't.

There! Happy now?

Useless invention #1:
Ingredients: 1 escalator, one laser or ultrasound ranging device, on programmable logic controller (PLC) (if not already part of escalator), and one slinky. This also assumes that fine speed control is possible on the escalator.
Basically, setup and program the laser or whatever to detect the position of the slinky and feed this measurement to the PLC which then adjusts the escalator's speed to maintain the slinky in one location. The slinky keeps going downstairs, but never gets anywhere.

Hours of useless fun.

Which reminds me, some people are like slinkys. They aren't really good for anything, but they're fun to push down the stairs.

VACATION!

That's right, this week I don't have to go to work! I'm not doing anything interesting like going somewhere, simply because we don't have the money. But that's OK. Any time away from work is good. Let me explain why:
1. The job. My title is "Quality Engineer". This really translates to "scapegoat", or "whipping boy". I'm the guy the customer calls when they have a complaint, so I represent the bad side of the supplier when they deal with us. I'm also the guy who has to lead the unwilling rabble of co-workers (cow-orkers, for the Dilbert literate) known as the 'team' into fixing the problem that resulted in the complaint. In addition to external bitching, I also have to deal with all the internal crap, which leads us to...
2. ...whining production people complaining about being asked to do some actual work. "Why should I have to walk 3 whole feet to pick up that gauge? I won't do it!" We actually had someone assigned to sort some parts for defects. And he did, and put both the good and bad parts in the same box because he hadn't been told to separate them! Well, I didn't tell you to breathe either, so I guess you should stop, numbnuts! And the boneheaded hourly dolts are lead by...
3. ...the supervisors who I wouldn't trust to have their legs bend the right way. Their philosophy is 'I'll do what I want and claim that's what I was told to do.' Note that we have a documented, sufficiently detailed log of what needs to be done, they just choose to ignore it.
4. Then there's management. Just read Dilbert. I firmly believe we have certain managers who believe Dilbert is manager training in comic form. But topping all of this is my boss...
5. The boss. Also known as Napoleon, Fearless Leading (with dripping sarcasm), or occasionally 'Useless, paper-pushing, bureaucratic bastard!'. I'll go into more detail on this little pile of jellyfish waste in a future post.
So you see, any time away from this condensed wad of career-doubt is good.

This week give me time to sleep in (as opposed to 6am wakeup, 11 pm sleep), go to the gym more, study for the CQT (certified quality tech) exam, waste time on computer games, and just generally slob about. Oh, and finally start writing my blog.

Thus expires my current attention span.

Just starting this stupid thing.

Don't expect much yet. I'm still figuring out this blog thing. Besides, I'm tired and don't wish to share any ideas right now. So there!