Return of the Son of Blog’s Revenge: The New Beginning

Ok, so I’m back after the longest dry spell yet. I can’t give a better explanation than apathy, or distraction. Often when I fire up ye olde electronical calculating engine, I’d rather play a game than engage in any serious mental activity like writing. Mercilessly crushing my artificial opponents is much more immediately satisfying. Anywho, the topic for today is…

Cars.

I’ve had a mixed relationship with the automotive world, from a consumer standpoint anyway. Unlike most sixteen year olds, I was in no hurry to get my license; indeed I was very nervous about taking control of a huge mass of metal moving at high speed. I did get my license at eighteen and took over operation of my Dad’s 1973 Olds Cutlass Supreme, known affectionately as “The Green Monster”, for its colour, size and appetite.
Shortly after that I started at the Great Institute of Higher Learning and Drinking, where, in an attempt to define myself, I started taking an interest in the more esoteric aspects of gear-headedness. I read magazines like Car & Driver, and Road & Track (Rodent Rack?), and generally turned into a bit of a wannabe racer. Well, that just didn’t work with a dreadnought like the Monster. I needed something newer and cooler, a real chick magnet.
So I traded the Green Monster for a Chevy Beretta GT.

Done laughing yet?
Yes, in hindsight I can admit that ‘twas the folly of youth that made me choose that particular vehicular conveyance. Actually, from an external styling point of view it wasn’t bad, and with metallic blue paint and reddish-orange trim it actually looked pretty good at the time. Unfortunately it turned out to be a total lemon in the longer term. Every system in that vehicle broke down at least once in the nine years I owned it. Towards the end it was referred to by some of my co-workers as “The War Car”, thanks to its various visible defects. The multiple problems with that car, as well as less than stellar treatment by the dealership eliminated any chance of purchasing another GM product.
In 1998 after yet another expensive repair, spousal unit and I decided that we had had enough. It was time to get something else. We needed something reliable, and fairly cheap. So after some hemming and/or hawing on my part, we leased a Honda Civic sedan. There’s a vehicle that positively drips excitement…(note heavy sarcasm).
At that point, I couldn’t afford an interesting or exciting vehicle, so I settled for loyal A to B transportation. I’ve been in that situation for the last eleven years.
And I’m getting damned sick of it!

Now, I’ll admit that I’ve only ever been a road-racer wannabe. Hell, I’ve never even learned to drive a manual transmission; when I was learning we only had an automatic, and Dad wouldn’t pay the extra for manual training. And I’ve never had the money, tools, or confidence to try tinkering with the Honda. But now I seem to be feeling that lust for a vehicle with some guts, something more than basic transportation, something with more ability than roads and laws are really prepared to accommodate. Sure, it’s an ego thing, I realize that. But I feel a primal urge for something that roars when I stomp it; something more than the bland little box I’ve been driving the last decade. Maybe it’s the mid-life crisis thing kicking in. I suppose it would be typical for me to choose the technical approach to dealing with desperate attempt to hold onto my youth versus some folks who go for a hot, young bimbo. Probably cheaper in the long run as well.
But the best part is that, in the next year or two, I may actually be able to afford one!

Stay tuned for the next exciting episode: What car should it be?!